On The Loose

It is about 10:45 pm Eastern Time and I am overlooking the ocean, half-drunk on damn fine beer, and chatting up the woman in the hotel room next to mine.  It's true.  I am on the loose in Virginia Beach at another conference.  I am all about conferences in locales that also double as resorts.  This is perfect.  The hotel I am at is a distance from the VABeach Boardwalk, which from my oceanfront balcony are glimmering orange lights in the distance.  I am watching F-16 fighter jets buzz the hotel up the street on their way to crash their planes into the Naval Base nearly five miles away.  Boy, the fire is terrific.  The wind has picked up and the salt air feels just like...salt air.  I need more beer.  I'll be right back.

It is now past 10:45 pm.  Still on a hotel balcony overlooking the ocean.  I am still aware of some of my senses.  I can still read the keyboard though I have an overwhelming need to take my clothes off and try to jump into the pool from the balcony.  This explains all those deaths at spring break from people jumping off balconies.  They are drunk and thinking they can fly.  

I just watched Kobe Bryant pick up his first career NBA MVP Award.  I think the whole thing is completely off-base.  Kobe is one of the best players in the league.  He is a Hall of Fame player on the first ballot.  He has a number of rings.  Yet, this year he is not even the MVP of his team.  The MVP on his team is actually Pau Gasol.  In fact, Kobe should just hand over his trophy to Pau right there on the court.  If it was not for Pau then Kobe would be watching Chris Paul of the Hornets lift the award to a bunch of screaming hooligans and an owner who is a sleaze bag in The Big Easy.  Up until the trade that brought Pau to LA, the Lakers were a middle of the road Western Conference team with few folk thinking they could win the title.  Now, the Lakers are a #1 seed in the toughest conference and the team to beat (next to the Celtics) for the title.  Pau gave the Lakers an inside athletic presence and another option on the floor.  Teams could no longer just key on Bryant in order to make someone else beat them.  All the other starters in the floor for the Lakers were shaky and inconsistent at being to provide the help the Kobe needed to lead the Lakers to a higher level than a 45 win team.  Gasol has the athleticism to play in the middle, in the paint, and to clog up the middle on defense.  He has been consistent throughout his time in gang title town which is much more than anyone else on the floor could say (except Kobe).  Furthermore, I am opposed to Kobe getting the MVP when he was openly trying to get himself traded to anywhere but Atlanta because he did not like his team, his coach, and his bosses.  He slammed everyone all summer and now he's the MVP.  What's next?  Naming Roger Clemens as the AL Cy Young this year?

Can someone tell me why I am attracted to women who are completely unavailable at any deeper level?  I chase women who are emotionally, sexually, or intellectually unavailable on a consistent basis (or at all!!!).  This is so ridiculous.  If she is absolutely unavailable (and pretty and smart) then I am attracted to her like a gerbil to a wheel or an addict to a needle.I know that it is totally insane to do this.  However, I have done it more times than I can count.  The worst part of it is that I have married someone who fits this twice already.  Is there a point where I would learn not to commit myself to those people who are not able to commit fully to me?  Is this too much to ask for myself?  I should never be let loose alone in a city with access to beer and women.  Period.  It's bad news in the end.  Trust me.  Gone there too many times and have the cut marks (from broken beer bottles and steak knives) to prove it.  

11:10 pm:  All is quiet.  Except the waves of regret and passion smashing into the shores of my consciousness.  Good grief.  I am a dope.

11:11 pm: When will my neighbor next store come back?  She seems interesting and attractive (and probably totally unavailable, which obviously means that I am in to her even though I just met her thirty minutes ago).  I need to stop.

11:13 pm: The planes have learned their lessons about crashing into the local naval base causing such a beautiful fire.  They have stopped flying all together.  Now I can only hear the waves, the wind, and my sanity crashing on the concrete below.  FORE!!

11:16 pm: What the hell am I doing here?  Where did the UFO come from?  Cut!!!

1:00 am:  What have I been doing for the last hour and a half or so?  Talking to the attractive and interesting woman next store.  That's what.  Also, adding more beers and cigarettes to the mounting count.  Who is counting?  I stopped somewhere around one awhile back.  I am trying to figure out when I need to wake up in the morning to have some visual and physical sanity left.  During my conversation that bordered on being flirty (Is this even a word?) with the woman next store (I am not mentioning names) the battery died on the laptop.  So now I am pathetically typing as the battery is being recharged.  This is the curse of bloggers with laptops.  I did have fun talking to the woman next store (and, yes, it appears that she is also unavailable...I told you...I'm attracted to the unavailable...it's a curse.  I can go hundreds of miles from home and it will still be the same...told you!)

1:10 am:  I forgot.

1:12 am: Uh...I still forgot.

1:15 am: What would happen if?

1:16 am: Don't even think about it.  I know how the mind works.  It twists things into beautiful patterns of rationalizations and innuendos.  It happens every time.  Just stop now.

Go to sleep.

1:18 am: I just remembered what I wanted to write about.  The primaries in North Carolina and Indiana were yesterday.  Oprah Obama won in North Carolina easily and almost pulled out of dramatic comeback in Indiana.  I hate to say it, but I think it is time to end this Democratic race.  I really did not want anyone to pull out because the race was so close.  I have been torn about all the candidates.  However, the writing is on the wall.  Whitewater Hillary is not going to win.  The math does not pan out in her favor.  Eventually, Obama is going to get the delegates that he needs to win the nomination.  It is time for Hillary to bow out.  This was not her year.  We all thought at one point that it would be.  We all planned that she would run in 2008 and she could win it all.  Tough luck and a Kennedy like speaker figure rose from the ranks in rapid succession (you could see it coming as far back as 2002).   I remember when Obama won the election to get into Congress.  I heard him speak and it reminded me of a Kennedy speaking.  It was uplifting, eloquent, and inspiring.  I knew then that many years later he would be on the verge of a big-time White House run.  I said to myself: "He could be President and he, too, could diddle an intern with a cigar."  It is time for Hillary (who also had her own vision for dealing with interns) to fold.  The Dems should now rally together to win what should be an easy election.

1:26 am:  I have done enough for one night.