Random Thoughts

I am on-call this weekend and I am also living out of a suitcase as I am now separated from my wife. Something about getting fed up with simply marking time versus living led to this decision. One of my relationship rules is that you can not simply mark time in a relationship for too long. If you are not living and growing in a relationship then it dies. I just simply had to call the time of death.

I have many bullet points to talk about as I am on-call and could get called out at any point along the way.

** OJ is now going to prison for at least nine years. He told the judge in his sentencing hearing that he was stupid and that he did not know what he was doing was illegal. So holding people up in a hotel room with a gun and not allowing people to leave the room in order to steal "your stuff" back so that the "gold diggers" won't get their hands on it. That can't be illegal. No, not in Vegas. Everything is legal in Vegas. Especially with all those security cameras around trying to stop "stupid" stuff from happening. OJ really thought that he could do anything in Vegas and have it stay there. Of course, he felt the same way about L.A., too. OJ, you are not stupid, you are a thug. Enjoy the meat that will be provided by a disgruntled offensive lineman in the shower in segregation.

** The Lions are on their way to a dream season. I believe that if they dream hard enough. Love themselves hard enough. Try hard enough. Achieve their dreams hard enough. That they can pull off the dream season of 0-16. The schedule is in their favor. Tomorrow they play against the Vikings who need a win to stay in the division hunt. They next go to Indianapolis who also needs to win for play-off considerations. The Saints come to Detroit the weekend before Christmas in order for Brees to throw for 600 yards. The last game of the season is at Green Bay who hopefully will need a win in order to make the play-offs. I am worried about the last two games. If the Packers and Saints are out of contention then their only motivation to win is to not to lose to Detroit (which may not be enough). The sad thing is that Coach Marinelli is a pretty good guy and it might be even a good coach...somewhere else. However, Coach, I want you to not look at any game film. Run the ball 100 straight times into an eight man front. Use your quarterback in the defensive backfield. If you go into overtime and win the toss, please select defending. Do whatever it takes to lose. You will be proud of your accomplishment. This is the worst team in history and you are in charge. Go for it!!! Don't choke and win a game just to win one game. There's no glory in that. The glory is losing all of them. You will make history. That is what it is all about. That and the fact that Detroit is a wasteland.


** Some guy named Plaxico who is a wide receiver in the NFL who never practices (he is in the AI hall of fame) shoots himself accidentally in the leg in a nightclub last weekend. Let's take a look at the logic of all of this. You are in the NYC. It is 2:00 am. Nothing good happens when you are out at that hour. You are carrying way too much cash on you. In NYC at 2 am twenty dollars is carrying too much cash. You have a gun. You have a loaded gun. In your pants. Near your man package. Now, that is OJ stupid. It is so sad when a such a logical mind like Plaxico's goes to waste. He is lucky that he did not blow off his man package and for being so rational he should get whatever he deserves.

** Speaking of AI, he missed a practice!! Shocker!! Call the dogs. He has his own Hall of Fame for missing practices. He told his team, the Detroit Pistons, that he would never do it again. Right. I believe that as much as I believe that Tom Brady will stay down for the rest of the season.

** I am proud of you, Tom. You have heeded my warning and stayed down since Thanksgiving. I really want you to come out into the light. Get out of the S&M chamber that you are being held "captive" in and stand on the sidelines as Matt Cassell takes your Evil Empire team to the play-offs. I am afraid that this might really happen. Can't we have one play-off without the Evil Empire? Please? Just one play-off run is all I ask. My warning still stands for you, Tom. Just stay down. Don't go to any soup kitchens with any cameras around. Don't get in front of any cameras. If you don't heed this warning then I will come right after you. Do you have a fascination with using lunch meat and fruit in your S&M chamber? What about small animals like a hamster or a gerbil? Do you have Richard Gere's number on speed dial?

** Does anyone else think that Nick Saban is the anti-Christ? One hopes that Florida wins this afternoon in the SEC Championship Game against Saban's Alabama team and promptly throws the whole BCS into chaos again. Florida is this year's Georgia from last year. At least in this case, the best team right now (Florida) will get a chance to play in the conference title in order to prove that they belong in the top two in the country. Let us also hope that USC and Oklahoma somehow loses which will make things a little simpler.

** It is sad that the only time that the NHL gets any press what so ever is if someone brutally attacks another player on the ice or if someone goes rogue and puts their foot in their mouth. Sean Avery, whose reputation is the same as Rasheed Wallace and Britney Spears on a bad day, was suspended for six games for making comments about "his sloppy seconds." The NHL is a great sport. On TV, it basically sucks. However, it is a great sport with great athletes who do amazing things. There is, in hockey, like in most sports "a code" that players must follow. I am not sure what the "code" is in the NFL where players shoot themselves in the leg and run pot across state lines and horde large cache of arms and commit murder for hire and gamble excessively on cat shows etc. etc. However, in the NHL, you can't talk about things on camera that though they might be true (you are naive if you think otherwise), but should be kept in the locker room. That breaks the "code." The locker room is like Vegas or Lindsey Lohan. What happens there. Stays there. What goes into Vegas and Lohan stays in Vegas and Lohan. Period. So, Avery crossed the "code" and he was punished deservedly so. I just hope that hockey can reach a level that what we hear on the sports radio shows is the great sport on the ice as opposed to thug rogue elements.

Only Tom Brady

Only Tom Brady could lure me out of my hiatus. However, I sent a warning several months ago. I stated to Tom and the world that as long as he stayed down that I would not go after him this season. All Tom had to do was stay down. Stay out of the spotlight. Stay out of camera shot. Nurse your knees and have your supermodel girl-friend nurse everything else. Just stay away from the public eye. Let the Patriots be mad at you for using your family vet to operate on your knee. Let your girlfriend run out and get the wrong condoms. Have Caoch Hoodie hand over the reigns of the Evil Empire to another quarterback. Just don't come out into the light. Be a vampire like Bill from TrueBlood and stay out of the daylight.

So as I am sitting in Lexington, Virginia on Thanksgiving I pop open SportsCenter I see Tom wearing a stupid green hat feeding people at a shelter somewhere. He had his usual shit eating grin with reporters up in his grill asking him how his knee is or how his knees could take the pounding in the S&M chamber that his girl-friend makes him visit each day. His dominatrix girlfriend was also there just kicking herself for having to spend any time with anyone who might be a consumer of a Goodwill training center in Roxbury, MA. Since the media piranhas decided to descend on the happy couple serving pumpkin pie, Tom felt compelled to smile, giggle, dodge questions, and act like the NFL's version of Zoolander. Trust me it gave me the holiday spirit. I mean it was as touching as watching one of the movies on the Lifetime Movie Channel. You know about those movies. Made for $50,000 featuring a woman who has amnesia, a false identity, and a former lover that tried to run her over with a Jeep Cherokee who eventually goes insane and kills about ten people just like the BTK killer. So touching that I want to eat more turkey and five day old doughnuts.

So now, Tom, I am letting you know since you failed to completely meet your end of our deal by going out into the light (I don't care if it was charity work...you could have done it outside of the cameras and the public eye) when you should have stood down that the deal is off. I am going after you, the Evil Empire, and the Hoodie. It's over. You break a deal with me you break a deal with the devil. And the devil always gets pay back. Thank you for helping me to get out of my personal life for enough time to come right after you.

Hiatus

As you may have noticed, I have taken down several posts on this blog. I have determined that due to significant personal issues and out of respect of those that I care for and care for me that it is appropriate to take these specific posts off the blog.

Furthermore, I have decided that I will be going on a hiatus for writing this blog. I am undergoing some very intense personal issues that I will need to work on before I am able to resume writing for this blog. I will resume at such time as things in my world settle.

I wish all of you well during this process.

Your NFL Picks

I am on-call again.  I got called at 4:30 this morning by an ER doc who wanted to make a referral for Monday.  I love this job!  On one hand I was glad that I could go back to sleep.  On the other hand, there was no point in waking me up at that hour to start with.  That's the problem with night shift folks.  They believe since they are up that everyone else should get up too and join the fun.  I had a family member who would only work the night shift in the hospital.  He stated that on night shift the administration is not there to mess with you and you can definitely get away with stuff on shift that would get you fired during the day.  Like getting oral sex in a closet, smoking crack or gambling at craps.  OK, you have a good point there.  

I sent a letter to Bill Simmons concerning my idea to turn MLB into the English Premier League which has not been answered.  I suspect that it will not get answered as he probably got 100,000 letters just like mine saying the exact same thing.  I guess I'll have to take the case to court or something. I use my cat, Mick, as my attorney. He would be damn good. He knows exactly how to prepare briefs and motions. The only problem is that I don't think he passed the bar. I guess I might have to defend myself. I can't pay his fees anyways. But, I do have Dippy who definitely knows how to handle himself in a court room. He just will need to make sure that he does not wear his blood and semen stained pirate bear outfit.

Now for my pro picks.  According the wonderful folks at wagerline.com I am six games under .500 in my NFL picks for the year so far.  I am 49% against the spread and over/under picks combined.  That puts me over 9000 units in the hole and in the 6th percentile of everyone else.  So in two weeks I have earned back over 1000 units.  If Mick was making the picks I am sure that he would be on top of the leaderboard up about 15,000 units.  He is absolutely gifted at making picks.  Last night he picked the Nuggets to beat the Celtics and the Lakers to lose to Detroit.  He was right on both counts.  The likelihood that this was going to occur was around 32-1.  I've gotta go with his picks more often or take him to Vegas to count cards.

Denver at Atlanta (-6.5)

OK, Atlanta is a good team.  They have a good formula for victory.  They are now getting some national attention.  They have done much better than anyone expected.  Matt Ryan could be the second coming of...of...of...who knows.  Denver has been underachieving.  They have a good quarterback who has been cooling off.  I do not know who is running the ball for them and they have a terrible pass defense.   When I first saw this game on the schedule I penciled in a twenty plus point loss.  Not today.  Take Atlanta and the points.

Mick:  Atlanta

Oakland at Miami (-10)

This game is much more interesting than it seems.  Miami is actually a decent team.  Ricky Williams is doing well.  They run gimmick plays.  Chad Pennington is their quarterback, but they have pretty much stayed in every game win or lose.  They are favored by a good margin.  However, they're playing the Raiders.  The Raiders continue to prove that they are the biggest train wreck in all of football.  They are a bigger wreck than the Lions and Rams.  Only the dumpster grease fire that are the Bengals are worse.  But, still...it's real bad.  I heard that the Crypt Keeper tried to call Kenny Stabler in rehab in Alabama to run the run and shoot offense this week.  It's really that bad.  Trust me.  Take the Dolphins.

Mick:  Miami

St. Louis at San Francisco (-6.5)

In order to help the finances of San Francisco 49er fans that may go to this game, the team should give each of the fans their money back when they come to the gates.  Give them free beer, wine, cheese, seal meat, snail, or whatever it is they eat at that dreadful football stadium that is not a football stadium.  Mike Singletary has toned down a little bit after they blew the game against the Cardinals that gave them a false sense of competency.  I have not heard if he has exposed any more body parts to his players in the locker room.  He has not been arrested in Golden Gate Park for lewd activities.  This may be his only real chance to get his first win.  His team better give it to him or else.  The Rams are truly bad.  And so are the 49ers.  Take the 49ers for Mike Singletary's sake.

Mick:  St. Louis

Dallas at Washington (+1)

Dallas is completely demoralized.  They are coached by a guy whose father is named "Bum".  This explains his coaching skills.  TO was on Letterman, which is a bad sign.  As an aside, does anyone believe that he actually put out a children's book?  That makes about as much as sense as me giving out advice on relationships. Tony Romo's pinkie is back, which could be a good sign.  The owner is guaranteeing that the Cowboys will go to the play-offs.  The problem on the other side is that it looks like Shaun Alexander may get some touches at running back for the Redskins, which is a horrible sign for them.  The Redskins best cross dressing player, CP, will not be in the game.  Take Dallas in a must-win game for their fragile psyche.

Mick:  Washington

Minnesota at Tampa Bay (-4)

Not sure what to say about this game.  It's an important game for both teams.  Minnesota is coached by a guy who looks like the janitor at any local middle school (see above pic).  He coaches just as well as one, too.  Tampa is at the top of their division and are clearly a solid team with no flash or major drama.  Not many arrests on that team.  A good sign.  As much as I want the Bucs to stumble I don't think that coach Middle School Janitor can make that happen with a quarterback who is best known for giving himself a concussion by slamming his head into the end zone padding--on purpose.  The Bucs should win fairly easily.  

Mick:  Tampa  

My Letter To Bill Simmons

Bill,
I noticed in your acceptance speech for the nomination as Oprah Obama's "Sports Czar" that one of your platforms was to reduce the number of MLB teams by two through relegation. Last spring, I wrote in my blog, http://fox4nxblog.blogspot.com/2008/02/what-ifmajor-league-baseball-was-like.html, about this very subject, but I took it several steps further. I wrote that MLB should be run just like the English Premier League. My idea was not just relegate two teams, but to send down five. My idea is to relegate the worst five teams by number of wins in MLB to Triple A. The best five teams in Triple A would be promoted to MLB.

The top 5 teams based on wins would join a "Champions" league and compete against the top teams from the top pro leagues from other countries. This would eventually lead to a true World Series between the two best pro teams in the world. The MLB champion would be the team with the most wins at the end of the year.

So by taking these ideas into account the following teams would be relegated:
Washington 59 wins
Seattle 61 wins
San Diego 63 wins
Pittsburgh 67 wins
Baltimore 68 wins

The following teams would advance to Champions League tournament:
LA Angels 100 wins
Chicago Cubs 97 wins
Tampa Bay 97 wins
Boston 95 wins
Philadelphia 92 wins
(The Cubs would be in second based on a better run differential). The champion of MLB would be the Angels.

As I see it, Bill, you put this idea on paper on November 13th, 2008. I put my even more advanced idea back last spring. If you don't believe me look at my blog. Unless you can show that you wrote about this before last spring then I will have to demand that you acknowledge that I developed this idea first.

A Disclaimer

This is a disclaimer regarding advertising on this blog. I am sure that everyone has noticed that there are often ads pertaining to gambling, Boston Celtics gear, anti-Obamaism, and anti-democratic partism. These ads are more than likely a complete contradiction to what I have actually written in the blog.

For the record:
1. I am not a fan of the Boston Celtics. I am not a fan of the New England Patriots. However, since I mention them so many times in this forum there inevitably will be ads trying to get readers to buy their gear. I personally wish that the Patriots would be kicked out of the NFL and forced to play in the CFL. I wish for Coach Hoodie to eventually be nailed in some sort of porn ring and spend fifty years in prison for a RICO violation.

2. Though I joke constantly about gambling, I only gamble with my life. No, just kidding, I do not advocate gambling excessively with money. I do not gamble with money. If I did I would be dead. Why? Because either a gangster bookie or my significant other would kill me. It would be a race as to who would get to me first. I bet on my significant other every time.

3. Throughout the last year I have referred to our President-Elect as Oprah Obama. I gave him that name because she hand picked him to be her candidate just like she picked chick books, the horrific Dr. Phil, and her man-friend who really isn't her man-friend. The power of Oprah is smeared all over the election. However, I do not feel that Obama bought the election. I think that Oprah did. In the end, I was in complete support of Obama once he got the nomination because when compared to McCain he was the better choice. McCain was not to be trusted because he has been in politics for too long and his policies were a mirror image of President Asterisk. He also picked Sarah Palin as a running mate which appealed to people who watched way too much TV, smoked a million unfiltered cigarettes a day, and drank too much regular Coke.

4. I am not a Democrat. I am not a Republican. I am not a jaded Communist. I am not in favor of selling off California to the Mexican cocaine cartels. I am not in favor of giving the state of Minnesota to Canada in exchange for a six pack of beer.
I am politically an independent. I am an equal opportunity basher of politicians and their parties. If you are an absolute moron I do not care who you represent or what your party affiliation I will bash you. I have bashed every President since Jimmy Carter in one shape or form. If a politician does something absurd, stupid, idiotic, or illegal then I will jump all over them. I do not prescribe to a political party. I will go for the candidate that I think is the best choice based on my values. End of story.

I can not wait for the day that the advertising on my blog actually matches my positive view of certain things. I do not choose the advertising on my blog. The wonderful folks at Google using some sort of magic formula of doom do so in a back room somewhere. Of course, does any one really want me to choose the advertising on this blog? I mean, really, do you?

Change Is Here

It is Wednesday night, I am on-call and I am watching a documentary on Peruvian prisons and heard the following line: "Cell Block A loses the (soccer) match without violence, only the mascot dressed as Santa Claus gets hurt." Then the camera shows a pack of Peruvian prison soccer hooligans stomping Santa to death on the concrete soccer field. Then we get to the final credits with some guy with a ton of prison tats and his own prison made nipple ring. Life is good.

Today, I turned in my resignation at my current place of employment. As I indicated several days ago I am in need of making a change. I have decided that I need a change in scenery in order to get back in touch with what I am passionate about in this field. I have determined that I have little interest being diagnostics in direct behavioral health care. Hence, the idea of doing just seeing patients all the day everyday holds little interest. I am mainly interested in the idea of program development, supervision, and maintenance. I believe that in this field I can make more of a difference supervising and directing clinical behavioral health programs rather than providing treatment directly. So I have been offered a better deal (mo' money) with higher responsibility (mo' problems) with an agency in Lynchburg, Virginia. I will be in charge of their intensive programs which includes crisis/emergency services, crisis stabilization, and assertive community treatment services. Every now and then I will deal with purely diagnostics which is also my strong suit as I would rather diagnose and prescribe a level care than providing the level of care directly in the long term. Mainly, in the long term with the same patient I am as useless as Lindsey Lohan's PR consultant. So, I have decided to be the behavioral health version of House, MD without the blood (maybe) and the noticeable limp (hopefully). Everything else will sadly be the same. I, too, believe everyone lies. And I mean everyone.

I have given my current employer four weeks until I leave. I have gotten mixed reactions from people at the office. Some are surprised and some are quite upset. There are many who thought I was telling them that their job was over. Hence, they are relieved once they realized that it's not them that is leaving--it's me. That is the state of affairs out our office in today's economy. Bring on the vodka!!!

Meanwhile, the Atlanta Hawks are 6-0 going into tonight's game in Boston. What? I thought they were going to play just to get Coach Woodson fired. I guess we'll have to wait until January for that to happen.

The Falcons are now 6-3 as they approach a winnable game against Denver in the Georgia Dome. When the schedule came out I had looked at the schedule and saw this game and instantly retorted "Denver 44, Atlanta 9." Now, Denver seems to be cartwheeling through glass and Atlanta is on the way for challenging for a play-off spot. How fortunes can change in the NFL.

I also need to start writing hockey entries, but no one will read them. So why bother? Everyone lies about reading this blig already anyways.

I'm Ready To Join The Matt Ryan Fan Club

So yesterday I posted one of the more depressing rants of my tenure. It would have made The Cure and Pink Floyd proud. In all seriousness, that is the mood that I am in. Today has been a different story as now my attitude is one of taking action as opposed to sitting around feeling miserable. Usually it takes me a day or two to eventually work through any major funk. It takes the Olsen twins less time to go through a bag of blow. Change is in the air. Change is on it's way. Change is on it's way to my household. It's either me or Sarah Palin's clothing account. I will now move on to another subject for fear that I will lose many of you again by going into a long rant about how insane my life has become.

So is there a fan club that I can join? I am sure there has to be. I was wrong this past April. I begged the porn king that owns the Falcons to draft Glenn Dorsey to shore up a porous defensive line. Instead they picked Matt Ryan with their No. 3 pick and I howled saying that the Porn King had further sent the Falcons further into oblivion. I was convinced that his pick of Ryan would eventually be the final blow from the Ron Mexico saga that would officially end the Falcons franchise and move them to Los Angeles. Don't think no one else thought about it.

The Falcons are now 6-3. Yes, that's right. Six wins and three losses. Their losses have been to Carolina (7-2), Tampa (6-3), and Philadelphia (5-3 going into tonight). I was ranting before the season started that the only game that they had a chance to win was the first game against the Lions. I was right about the Lions as they are now riding Dante Culpepper to hopefully a dream season of the reverse undeafeated 0-16 record. I believed that Matt Ryan would be killed in his first season by a Saran Wrap offensive line, recievers who had concrete for hands, and an over-rated Michael Turner. None of this happened. Today, I finally became convinced that there is a hopeful future for Ryan and the Falcons. I have stopped thinking that these early wins were just a fluke and the Falcons were really not as good as they appear. Last Sunday, the Falcons embarassed the Raiders in the own stadium. It was easy to state that a win in Oakland did not mean anything because the Raiders are truly horrible and they are run by dead guy. I looked further into how they won against the Raiders. Ten yards of passing yardage...for the whole game. 300 yards of offense...in the first half. You have to be good to do that to any team in the NFL. Matt Ryan went 17 for 22 with 220 yards with two touchdowns and no interceptions in Oakland. This was the fifth game he would be best be described as efficient. High completion percentage with few to none interceptions. Ryan became 5-0 as a rookie quarterback in Oakland when he completed 60% of his passes. He has shown to be both deadly accurate as well as unshakable. Note the pass in the final seconds against Chicago that set them up for an unprobable and landmark victory. Today, at home in a must win situation against a bitter division rival, he continued his icy efficiency with a 16 for 23 with 248 yards and another two touchdowns with no mistakes performance. That's a 70% completion rate and a two touchdown victory. Ryan has won six straight professional games when his completion percentage is 60% or above. He was 21-4 at Boston College when his percentage was 60% or above. You can now see despite the fact that he did not have video game numbers or a Heisman trophy what the Falcons Porn King minions saw in him. He was scouted by Dimitroff who learned under the masters at the Evil Empire. Their quarterback? Tom Brady. Hmm.

One must also credit to an offensive line that has given up twleve sacks in nine games. This was supposed to be the weak link in the Falcons chain. They have managed to keep Ryan upright for long enough to fire lasers at his primary targets White and Jenkins. The tandem of Ryan and White have become feared across the league. No one believed that this would be the case before the season started. Now defenses have to deal with the two pronged attack of Turner and Ryan. That is more than three quarters of the teams in the league can say. All in all I have become a fan. A fan of Matt Ryan. I believe that he has the goods. I believe that he will be a winner and that's all I can ask for. Oh, except for the fan club I want to join.

It's Time For A New Path

I have been in a blue funk for the last several days. People can't stand being near me. I am not sure what has set me off on this blue spiral. I am sure it is stress, but I am wondering if it is some other issue. I am not in the mood for joking and being sarcastic. I am more bitter than usual, which takes my ranting from a humorous level to simply dark. Frankly, I am more angry than usual. I am wondering if I am walking the wrong path. I am wondering if where I am now in my life is where I need to be or want to be. I am pulled in enough directions as it is and I am tired of the burns.

In the fall of 1992, I voted in my first Presidential election. At the time I was looking for a change in the country. I found the current White House occupant at the time to be desperately out of touch with the people and even reality itself. He had dug himself into so many holes with the economy that nobody believed what he saying. Even his grandmother...er...wife did not believe anything that was going on.

Personally, my life at that time was changing drastically. I was at Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond, Virginia in my senior year as an undergraduate. I was a psychology major and I was beginning to weigh my graduate school options. I was running out of money faster than Paris Hilton and needed to figure out a decent plan to get through graduate school in the quickest amount of time so that I can reach my goal. My goal was to become a psychotherapist. More specifically, for children. In high school, my first love was a young woman who was intensely beautiful and deeply depressed and self-destructive. At the time, I became curious as to why a young woman who was both beautiful and young would be so depressed to the point that ending her life seemed like a reasonable option. I also became determined to obtain the knowledge to help her and others like her. Hence, instead of teaching I went into psychology with the goal of being a "counselor". It was a fateful decision. I went on to VCU and did very well...at least with the academics. I spent the years with my first love trying to keep her literally off the ledge. Her penchant for complete self-destruction was daunting for me as I had little knowledge of what to do to help. It became impossible. In order to save myself, I decided that I would split with my first love. This proved to be traumatic for both me and her. In the late summer of 1992, the first love of my life was dead. On the night of August 14th, 1992 she took a combination of sleeping pills and OTC pain medication. On August 21st, the decision was made to let her go. At the time, I had no idea what was happening. I was in San Francisco and no one from her family had bothered to contact me because they had blamed me for her self-destruction. By the time I had heard what had occurred all the funerals had been completed. One funeral for her adopted family.  The second funeral for everyone else.  Her adopted family had mourned in private and eventually shut all the windows and doors to their daughter's life. And I was alone. I was alone to deal with all the guilt, trauma, devastation, and sadness. I have been dealing with her ghost ever since. It is her ghost that has driven my career. It has been her ghost that I have chased. It is her ghost that is burned into everything that I have done professionally.

In the fall of 1992, Bill Clinton won the White House as a telegenic handsome and smooth talking orator who preached the need for change. I was deeply moved to see the country change in a hopeful direction. It was a fantastic moment.

Sixteen years later, I am dealing with a ghost and chasing my own demons around the block. There have been days where I believe that the ghost is gone. Other days the ghost rides with me in the car the sixty miles up to work every day. I am not sure I even know what I am doing at work anymore. I have totally lost touch with who I am and why I am even there. When I look into the mirror I am not sure who is looking back. One day my confidence is high and the next it is rock bottom. One day I may feel that I have succeeded and the next day I am burned in effigy and I am the one holding the match.  Right now, I am in need of a change.  What that change will exactly entail I am not sure.  I do not expect that I will be at the same place of employment in the near future.  It is time for me to step backwards into the woods and gain the perspective that I need to move forward and beyond the chasing of ghosts and my own need to self-destruct.  This has been a long time coming.  I have traveled this road that has been narrow with the abyss on one side and salvation on the other.  I trust the abyss, but not the salvation.  It is the abyss that I have seen many fall into.  It is the abyss that I have looked over and danced with it's guardian angel.  It is the smoke of the abyss that is both intoxicating and noxious.  It is now at this time that I seek to find the perspective that I need that has been surely lost.  It is time to make a change.  It is time to step back in order to step forward.  The ghost of a lost love who has passed on will still live.  She may be a mile a way, a thousand, or a few feet.  She will be there.  She gives me the direction and the drive.  It is the ghost that also leads me to the abyss and the temptation that lies beneath the smoke, clouds, and mirrors.  In the end, it is time for me to change into what I will be.  However, the current question is whether or not who I am now is who I will be once all the dust clears.  It is time for a new path.

As we look at our country, it is sorely in need of a dramatic change as well.  On Tuesday, the country spoke loudly that we ourselves have stepped backwards into the woods and saw clearly the abyss that America is falling head-long into.  We have found someone who has instilled hope and vision for a better future.  A change from the disastrous path that our current administration has taken us.  Our way life now threatened by those outside our country who now hate us more so than ever before and by the enormous unchecked greed of corporate institutions that chased the dollar down the rabbit hole and took everyone down with them.  This country needs a major overhaul.  This country needs a new perspective.  Sixteen years after the country, dizzy as it was, picked a telegenic orator of change, we have picked another who has inspired many and has given many hope for a better path.  Last Tuesday I was also moved to tears.  Not because our country elected it's first African-American President, but because the country took one step into the woods, looked at itself in the mirror, and decided to forever change it's course once again...to a brighter hopeful future.

Alas, my pro picks.  

Mick's luck ran out last weekend when he went 2-3.  Dippy lost his mind apparently and went 1-4.  I went 4-1 so they are both out this weekend.  So far for the season on all NFL picks I am standing at 48%.  This is in the 4th percentile of all players on wagerline.com.  I am doing great!

Without the humor on this sobering post:

I am taking New England (-3.5) over Buffalo, Arizona (-9.5) over San Francisco, Green Bay (+2.5) over Minnesota, Carolina (-10) over Oakland, and Atlanta (-1) over New Orleans.

Yes, You Can Bet On The Election!!!

As I said in the last post, the election is over. At least the Presidential election is over. After 30 years of primaries, conventions, debates, and disturbing ads we are at the eve of another Presidential election. Most people I have talked to who know a lot more than me about politics suggested to me that the turn-out rate will be around 80%, which will cause absolute chaos tomorrow. This chaos will result in not knowing much of anything solid until 2 a.m. Eastern time. There will be long lines and there will be people crying foul because people will still be in line in some states as the polls close. Most states have refused requests to change the time polling ends. This will be a significant factor if things get close in key states and they will. However, in the end the election is over. I expect that Obama will win tomorrow in the end. I gave my endorsement of him in my last post and I am not budging from that position. One thing that is not over regarding this election is the betting.

Leave it to me as a degenerate gambler to try to get my gamble on with the results of this election. Right now, the odds of victory stand 1-7 for Obama and 4-1 for McCain. This means that anyone betting on Obama using those odds will not win any money because he is such a huge favorite. Best to bet straight up if you can find anyone silly enough to bet against Obama. No where have I found an electoral vote spread for the election. Based on the polls in every state, the electoral college spread should be 169 votes in favor of Obama. So with this in mind and the fact that there are six states that are considered toss-ups I will handicap tomorrow's election results.

Obama (-169) vs. McCain

This is the spread for the electoral college votes in the end. This spread was based on the poll numbers for each state. However, there are so many possible factors that could cause the voting in specific states to swing one way or the other. Obama needs 270 to win. I believe he will get 311, which will result in a spread of 125. I do not think that Obama will win all the states that he is favored to win and also think that many of the toss up states will go to McCain. Obama will get enough to win, but he's not going to cover.


Florida

The big toss-up state that is leaning currently towards Obama. A high voter turn-out in this state especially with Latino voters (many of which will be first time voters) will cause this bitter contest to eventually in Obama's corner.


Georgia

I would be shocked if Obama won Georgia for obvious reasons that I really do not want to get into. If he does win it will show that the state of Georgia has permanently changed politically as a result of the millions of transplants from the Northeast and the West crowding into Atlanta's suburbs. It won't happen this time. McCain will take this state in wider margin than expected.


North Carolina

Read the Georgia entry. Same thing applies to North Carolina. McCain is leading in the polls in NC and he will win comfortably. Also, if you all in NC elect McCrory as your governor then you get the rain of locusts that you deserve for doing it. He was bad for Charlotte and he will be bad for everyone else. Don't say I did not warn you.


Indiana

As a state bordering Obama's I thought that this state should be leaning towards Obama, however it is leaning towards McCain. McCain has strong support on the ground in Indiana and I expect that he will win as a result.


Missouri

The urban and suburban centers of Kansas City and St. Louis plus higher voter turn-out than expected will result in an easier than expected win for Obama.


North Dakota

If this state falls to McCain then there should be an immediate resolution to send this state to Canada. This state is leaning towards Obama and it will stay true to form.


Montana

Does anyone really think that Obama has a chance in this state? The fact that this is a toss-up shows how well his campaign has done. In the end, this states meager 3 votes will not matter much especially after Obama gets California, Washington, and Oregon later in the night.

My Presidential Endorsement And Mick's Picks

Mick the Cat did better than me in making pro football picks last weekend so he is back to make more picks. He has gotten pretty cocky now and is walking through the house with mass amounts of bling stating he had gotten it all from his "winnings" in Vegas. And the damn cat has never been to Vegas. Insane.

Dippy is out of jail now on some sort of technicality. Apparently he got a ton of evidence thrown out of court as it was gotten illegally. Something about not having a search warrant or something. Chain of custody issues. Whatever. He wants to make some picks on pro football for this weekend, but is not sure he should make too many comments about his state of affairs or any state of affairs. Dippy has had more legal charges than anyone in a pirate bear costume should have. He is the only one who celebrates Halloween everyday...or maybe not.

Then we have the magic that is Mike Singletary. Days after the greatest head coach debut news presser ever in the history of organized sports we find out that 49ers head coach Singletary is basically insane. We find out that during half time of his very first NFL head coaching game he dropped his pants and mooned his own team. Why? To illustrate how the Seahawks were kicking their asses. How did the 49ers play after Singletary literally showed his ass? They played worse. On the list of things not to do as a football head coach at any level (except the CFL) is to show your ass literally to your own team. That ranks on the list around with setting yourself on fire, getting arrested for DUI's, killing your pregnant girlfriend, and selling porn. You just don't. Just don't do it. Take off your pants in your own house. Not in the locker room in front of your players. Not in your car. Not outside in a park. In your own home. At this rate of sanity decline, Singletary will not make it past this season which would be very unfortuneate because he is quite entertaining.

Let me just say that the Presidential election is over. Unless something crazy happens such as Obama being caught on tape with a crack pipe or running from reporters at a hotel where his mistress is hiding their love child then Obama will win the election. There will be some nervous moments until the polls in California close, but it's over. The result of this election really has as much to do with the state of affairs in the country than the candidates themselves. I am reminded of 1992 when Asterisk Sr. was running for re-election during an economic downturn and appeared totally out of touch and a dynamic, younger, image conscious Bill Clinton used the third party candidate and a wave of change talk to win the White House fairly easily.  Times are darker now.  The economy is in a deflation (which is worse than inflation by the way) and is on the verge of a deep depression (not a recession which we are already in, but a depression).  Our military is stretched thinner than Tom Brady's condoms fighting a war that it should have never fought while struggling to keep any gains from the war we should have fought.  At this point, Russia is in better shape than we are.  In 1992, a vote for Asterisk Sr. was a vote for more of the same failing policies that were in place under Reagan and his hand maiden.  Now, a vote for McCain is a vote for more of the last eight years of Captain Asterisk's mad cowboy vision of America that has led us down the rabbit hole into oblivion.  It is also a vote for lowest common denominator of arrogance and ignorance.  This is personified by the GOP Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin who is as appealing as Rosanne Barr singing the national anthem and just as ugly.  Palin represents everything that is wrong with the GOP.  She is trite, out of touch, out of ideas, blind, fraudulent, and boorish.  Though I am not a huge fan of Oprah Obama he does represent at least a different direction...a refreshing change.  He appears to be in touch with what is actually happening at the ground level.  He appears to have a vision.  He appears to have empathy for people.  He appears to be calm and thoughtful under fire.  He has a connection to people and strives for it.  His ideas and policies make more sense in this trying time.  He presents an energy towards going forward as opposed to going sideways.  He's brighter, more energetic, more intelligent, and more in touch with reality.  Sure, he is not that experienced.  I have to ask though.  Do we really need experience?  What has experience gotten us?  Don't we need someone who may have some level of objectivity?  As you can guess I am endorsing Oprah Obama.  This is without any reservations or hesitations.  His election will be a world changing event.  In a flat world, this would cause it to flip...just like Hammer's house.

Now your pro football picks:

Houston at Minnesota (-4.5)

Why am I picking this game?  Well, I have a soft spot for Minnesota.  The Vikings have not met expectations this year so far.  It is not too late for them, but when you have Gus as your quarterback I do not know how far you're going to go.  I honestly don't know anything about Houston.  Do they still have a team?  Does anyone watch their games?  Are they still the Oilers?

Take the Vikings.

Dippy:  My gerbil is smarter than any fox I know.  Matter of fact your cat is smarter than any fox I know.  Take Houston.

Mick:  Houston.

Pittsburgh at Washington (-1)

I really like what is happening in Washington.  I hope that it is sustainable.  Has Campbell thrown an interception yet?  They escaped being beaten by a no-loss team in Detroit.  Not sure exactly what your are going to get from this team.  Their games against Cleveland and Detroit were not real convincing.  However, they are 6-2.  A win is a win.  Pittsburgh presents a big test for this team.  It's a test that I don't think they will pass.  Take the Steelers.

Dippy:  Did you notice that as we are writing this stupid entry that your Bulldogs are being killed.  I mean prison raped by Florida right now.  Georgia is the most over-rated team that I ever seen.  They are more over-rated than Spam.  More over-rated than Madonna.  More over-rated than any movie that Richard Gere has been in since 1992.  Take Washington.

Mick:  Washington.

Dallas at NY Giants (-9.5)

The Cowboys are like the Raiders except with more talent.  More talent means that you should win more games.  More talent with a coach who is a marshmallow means unmet expectations.  TO will be doing sit-ups in his drive way by December 1st and this will be his last season in Dallas.  He'll be playing for Atlanta next year.  The point spread for this game is too high.  I think that Dallas will keep it close and eventually lose.  I know how good the Giants are, but they are also over-rated.

Dippy:  Fox, did you ever consider visiting me in jail?  You didn't.  You did not show up.  You were too busy.  You were too busy chasing women and money around.  Too busy making stupid bets on-line.  How much are you down by now?  The Giants are great.  Eli Manning is playing better than his brother.   Coach Tom's head hasn't melted off yet.  Take the Giants.

Mick:  Giants.

Detroit at Chicago (-12.5)

I am pulling for Detroit.  Not to win.  No.  Not at all.  I want them to complete the perfect season.  I want them to lose all 16 games.  I think they can do it.  Sadly, I think they'll actually win their last game of the year against a team that has nothing to play for and will be playing JV high school players.  Nonetheless, I want the impossible dream to happen.  I was broken hearted when Miami somehow beat Baltimore for a win.  I hope to not be so disappointed this time around.  The point spread for this game is also too high.  Detroit has been playing people tough.  I don't think the Bears will cover.  Take the Lions.

Mick:  The Lions.  Of course.

Dippy:  Only a loser would pull for another team to go 0-16.  Take the Bears.  

Atlanta at Oakland (+3)

Beat the teams that are not as good as you and play well against the teams that are better than you.  That is exactly how it has played out for Atlanta.  They have lost to three teams that are way better than they are.  The Falcons have beaten teams that are much worse than them.  The Raiders?  I think that they are in the category of teams that the Falcons should beat.  Take Atlanta.  Take that #47!!!

Dippy:  The Raiders are better than the Falcons.  No, just kidding.  The Florida Gators are.  At least we can say that the Gators are a ton better than the over-rated Bulldog team that have killed today.  I love it.  I love watching your team get slaughtered and burned.  The Falcons will make it perfect weekend for Georgia football by going to Oakland and watch DeAngelo Hall score a pick six off of Ryan.  Take the Raiders.  Is there a pool on the Crypt Keepers death?

Mick:  Raiders.   

Meeting Mick and Mike

This is the cat that beat me in my pro football picks this weekend. His name is Mick. He is a two year old fixed tabby. He also got four out of five right after just nuzzling one of the two choices for each game.  No, I did not make the picks for him.  No, he obviously does exist.  Yes, he will be making more picks next week.   Yes, he is on drugs...catnip to  be exact.  Yes, he is litter box trained.  No, Dippy does not want to sell him to a resturant for lawyer money.  

And the winner for best debut head coach press conference after a horrible first loss goes to...Mike Singletary. Mike is the new coach of the San Francisco 49ers. He has been on the job for less than a week after the team clipped Mike Nolan. Singletary is best known for being an intense middle linebacker for the Bears in the 80s. Now, he appears to be an even more intense head coach. With five minutes left in the game 49ers tight end Vernon Davis (by the way the only TE on the team that can catch a football) got an unsportsmanlike penalty costing his team 15 yards. As he was walking towards the sidelines Coach Singletary wanted a word. Mr. Davis shook off his new coach to indicate that he was not going to be conversing with him. Singletary was no mood for this and kicked Davis off the field. That led to the below sound bite. I do not know how Singletary is going to do, but if we get more pressers like this then we are definitely in for a treat. This is the second best coach sound bit ever next to Denny Green's "they are who we thought they were...and we lettem off the hook" blast. Can't wait for the 49ers next game in two weeks. If they suck as badly as they did yesterday then the next post-game presser should be a festival.

The Black Hole Of Bay Area Sports

I was listening to the San Francisco 49ers radio broadcast as they were being shelled by Craig Stadler's Seahawks squad who entering the game had won one game and looked miserable in every other game this year.  Until they arrived in San Francisco.  As the game got further and further out of reach the commentator and analyst became more and more jaded and dark.  They started off criticizing only a few things to eventually making runs at everyone on the team, the coaches, the fans, the beer guys, and the city itself.  It was fun to listen to if it wasn't so absolutely sad to listen to a spoiled franchise continue to wallow in the black hole of professional sports that the Bay Area has become.  The 49ers are down to Shaun Hill as their quarterback who can not throw the ball longer than ten yards.  This will suit offensive coordinator Mile Martz perfectly as he relies on a passing game that forces the quarterback to be able to throw the ball twenty five yards or more.  The Raiders are being run through the ground by a crypt keeper of an owner who lost touch with reality when he forces Jon Gruden out setting the stage for him to destroy the Raiders the next year in the Super Bowl.  The Raiders and their fans are the biggest jokes in the league with little hope in sight until the Crypt Keeper dies and hands the team over to whom?  The Giants went to the World Series and 2002 and have fallen apart a little more every year since.  The nightmare of Barry Bonds is over, but his curse still hangs over the team like Tom Brady's infected knee still hangs over the S&M parlor he frequents in L.A.  The Giants stink and so does the A's.  The Oakland A's are grossly irrelevant and the only people that show up for their games in the clearly the worst stadium in baseball are people simply too lazy to make it into San Francisco.  To top it all off their hats match absolutely nothing in anyone's wardrobe...except Craig Sager.  The Warriors lost their best player to the Clippers of all teams which only shows how irrelevant they are.  If you lose your best player to one of the worst sports franchises that have ever existed then you should be kicked out of the league.  The fact that they signed their coach for an additional two years proves that they have no clue what they are doing or simply don't care or both.   The Sharks and Earthquakes both play in San Jose, which does not in the grand scheme of things.   All in all things are going great for Bay Area sports.  The fun thing there is that there more teams that can go into the toilet than in Atlanta.  Two teams in football and baseball that are as putrid as baked squid left out in the sun for five days make double the fun than watching the same thing happen in Atlanta.  So I guess I can feel lucky that I'm an Atlanta fan in that respect.  It can be worse!  I could pull for the Raiders!

By the way, Mick the Cat went 4-1 with his football picks.  I, of course, went 3-2.  So Mick is coming back for another week.  Dippy is busy with his hooker...er...lawyer...er...probation officer...er...dealer.  Whatever.  Dippy is busy.  On wagerline.com, I am 48% with pro picks for the week.  I have lost another 1,000 "units" and I am in the hole for 10,000 total for the season. Things are going well.  

Your Pro Football Picks With Mick The Cat

So far this NFL season at wagerline.com I am standing at 47% with my picks and I am 6,000 "units" in the hole. I pick both the spread and the over/under on each game of the week. I do absolutely no research. I go only by instinct. Except that my cat can do better. So to prove my point I will compete against my house cat on five games. The cat will pick by the first team name he touches when the match-up is held up. Now this cat is not declawed and probably is rabid so this might be difficult.

Oakland at Baltimore (-9)
By the luck of the draw I was able to watch the last of the Raiders-Jets match-up from last Sunday. This was one of the worst games I have ever seen. Both teams were worse than putrid. They were as fresh as garden salad left on the counter for three weeks with no air conditioning...in Nevada. Favre looked like he was hurt. The Raiders do not know concepts like a snap count and how many people belong on the field. The showed a shot of Raiders owner Al Davis in his box and he looked like the Crypt Keeper. Somehow the Raiders kicker (shouldn't he be in jail due to multiple DUIs?) ended this game and the Raiders actually won. I felt cheated that we did not get a shot after the game of the Crypt Keeper celebrating the win. They won't win this week. They never play well after a win at home and then traveling cross country. Terell Suggs will have another bounty...er...contest...er...friendly banter against the Raiders. Take the Ravens. Though Flacco is the worst name for a NFL quarterback ever.
Mick The Cat: Ravens.

Seattle at San Francisco (-5)
Why am I picking this game? No one under 12 should be allowed to watch this game. These two teams deserve to end in a tie. That is how bad they both are. I am interested to see how Mike Singletary does as a head coach. I loved him as a player and I suspect that players will be willing to play hard for him. Sadly, Nolan picked Alex Smith as his franchise quarterback and look how well he's doing now. He looks real good carrying a clipboard watching a guy that no one ever heard of start for his team. Seattle coach Craig Stadler is doing real well in his last season. Stick to your day job Stadler. Take the 49ers.
Mick The Cat: Seattle.

Washington at Detroit (+9)
i am having a real struggle with this game. The Redskins should not have lost at home to St. Louis. They gave that game away. The Lions are worse than the Rams and they are playing in Detroit. Last week the Redskins should have won by at least ten points or more against Cleveland. I just can't take Washington at Detroit with a point spread of nine. Detroit is not going to win, but this point spread is too high with a team that no one can really predict what they will do. Detroit, it is.
Mick The Cat: Washington. Meow.

Atlanta at Philadelphia (-9.5)
I know that everyone has jumped on my case for not believing in my beloved Falcons. If you have been a fan of the Falcons you would understand that nothing is ever as good as it appears and that at the end of every rainbow there is a pile of crap. Today I saw Matt Ryan's jersey being sold at the mall. Now it is the beginning of the end. Actually, no. I believe in Ryan. I think that he is the real deal. His mental game is excellent which will prove him well as his career progresses. The only thing stopping him are injuries and/or team management ineptitude by not surrounding him with good players. I refuse to have high expectations of the Falcons until the management shows that they know how to surround their franchise quarterback with good players. However, I am the most hopeful I have been about the future of an Atlanta quarterback since...ever...and that includes Vick/Mexico and Bartkowski. It will be a tough game for Ryan in Philly, but I think Atlanta will keep it close and I am not sold on the Eagles anyways. Atlanta.
Mick The Cat: Eagles.

Arizona at Carolina (-3)Why hasn't Kurt Warner gotten hurt yet? I have been waiting all year to see everyone's favorite beer bong sucking statutory rapist Matt Leinart play. Warner was one step away from retirement after Bouldin almost got his face snapped off against the Jets. I am waiting though. I wonder how ready Leinart is to come out if Warner breaks his pinkie or something. Is he on the sideline all hung over praying that Jenny from the whirl pool at the Holiday Inn will get her monthly friend to come in on time? Also, I am sick of hearing about Tony Romo's pinkie. That pinkie has had so much power over the Cowboys season and the air waves that I can't stand hearing about it anymore. The pinkie needs to talk about Tom Brady's knee which is getting also over-exposed. So, I need to pick one. Arizona does not travel to the East Coast well either. They will get rolled. Carolina is quite good and if the Cowboys don't get their act together Carolina has a chance at a high seed in the play-offs....if they can only compete with Tampa...ugh. Take Carolina.
Mick The Cat: Carolina. Of Course.

Thinking Of Tom...Not In A Gay Way, Though

So Tom Brady's injured knee is infected and that may compromise the repair surgery that was done to repair both of his ligaments. If it does not get better they will have to do the whole surgery over, which means that he could be out of action (football wise) for much longer than anticipated. The kicker to this is that he did not have surgery using the team doctor he instead went to a doctor that his family recommended. The only medical stuff I know about is from House, M.D. so I have no clue whether or not this was a botched surgery, but I have never heard of this happening to anyone else...uh...except for Peyton Manning and I don't know what his deal is except he was last seen holding back the San Diego Chicken in a TV commercial (as if anyone under 30 knows who the Chicken is). I almost feel sorry for Brady at this stage. He did not trust the team doctors because none of them have his best interest in mind (they all work with Darth Hoodie who would replace Tom's knee with a cyborg knee from Terminator) and you can't trust a surgeon that your family finds because they don't have a clue how to pick a surgeon....obviously. So Tom is screwed. Personally, if I needed a surgeon I would immediately go to the web-site that lists all of the doctors who have license violations for botched surgeries and then call them and ask where they sent their permanently injured patients to. More form Tom's knee at a later date.

I'm Back!!!

It has been quite awhile since I last posted and an awful lot has happened in that time span. Recently, I have had people coming to me stating that they had checked this blog to see if anything has been posted only to be disappointed by having to view stupid videos made by people who have too much time on their hands. Like who really has time to super impose Star Wars warships onto the streets of San Francisco? Then I had to ask what the hell is wrong with me that I would looking for such a dumb video? Then I thought...I am wasting too much time on this blog. I was missing out on sporting events, sex, booze, work, and living with a North Korean dictator. I started to also have doubts that I know what I am doing. My football picks are terrible. I went 37% on pro football picks last weekend. My cat can do better than 37% by merely taking a leak on the helmet of one of teams playing the game. So I doubted that my picks and thus my knowledge of sports was badly suspect and that I was not a good enough writer to make this piece of shit blog interesting. So I went on a hiatus in order to figure out what to do next. There were several days that I thought that I would log-in and shut the site down. There were other days that I was going to state that this thing was going to be shut down because Dippy was killed in a biker bar outside of Portsmouth. By the way, Dippy was indicted on federal drug charges for running a drug ring through the pool locker room at the Virginia Beach Wyndham hotel. However, there were many people who came to me asking when I would return including the individual that calls himself Kidnapper #47 who kidnapped and drugged up Dippy a few months back because I was turning into a sports fan hypocrite.

Other things that have occurred in the last three weeks:
1. I went to Minnesota for four days, partied excessively, ate excessively, listened to everyone who talked like Sarah Palin, partied more excessively, and spent most of the week saying "Yeeeeeah."
2. The economy is in the toaster and it's stuck there turning black as the thing won't pop up again. The stock market is about to turn into the biggest looting grab bag for our oligarchs in two decades. Trust me when I say that the rich will get enormously richer in the midst of massive lay-offs and lost lives. It's also strange that the cost of everything else is creeping up slowly right now except for the cost of gas which is falling...right before the elections. Hmmm...
3. The Falcons are 4-2 going into the bye week. People are ragging on me for not believing in my team. Sure I have picked against them six times in a row. How is that believing in my team. Matt Ryan is playing out of his mind and over everyones expectations in his first six games. Of course, I pleaded with porn star Arthur Blank to not draft him in favor of Dorsey. And where is Dorsey now? I have no clue.
This proves I probably should not be let out of the house ever. Not even to buy food for the North Korean dictator living at my house.
4. I went to my high school homecoming weekend (yes, I am a loser) for the eighth straight year and ran into a friend of mine that I have not seen in over ten years. One of his first words to me: "I check for your blog from time to time."
5. The same weekend that my significant other and I were at the homecoming weekend she was dreadfully sick and kept us up all night every night...for all the wrong reasons.
6. I found a wonderful set of beers from a brewery out of all places Fredrick, Maryland called Thirsty Dog. They have a lager, a stout and several other genres. All extremely good. Try the Imperial Stout that is the most bitter stout I have ever had and packs the biggest punch of any beer I have ever had. By the way, the stout is 8.9% alcohol. Try out their website: thirstydog.com

7.   The election is almost over.   Thank God.  Either way it turns out I am happy that it is almost over.  I do not believe that McCain will win.  The most reliable projections that I have seen shows Obama winning the electoral vote fairly easily.  I do not know if he is indeed the best person for the job.  I have no idea how well he will do in the Oval Office, but I have to say that Obama is better than the alternative.  The alternative is a third Bush term and a vice president who is also likely going to be pretty loose with a gun and is being called the possible new face of the GOP.  That would be great...if the GOP wants to resemble the trailer park association of western North Dakota.  

8.   I have been approached with multiple new professional opportunities that I am strongly considering.  Obviously, none of these people have ever read this blog.

So I feel like I have just got of prison after several years and the whole world has changed.  Instead of that old guy in Shawshank Redemption I am not going to freak out and hang myself, but it's going to take something to get used to.  I do not know how often I will write in the post or what it will be I will write about, but I am back.

We Have Too Much Time On Our Hands #1

Every week or so I will be providing some videos to the masses just to fill in time and prove that I and whoever put these videos together have absolutely way too much time on their hands. Or they aren't getting laid. Or both.

Proof in point is this video that appears to be sort of quite clever. Then again, whoever spent the time to put this together either has some sort of sexual fetish for Star Wars or is totally bored. Or drinking way too much Pepsi.




Then there is this video that is set to some bad techno music and shows us the demolition derby that is Moscow traffic. In this case from a major tunnel in the city. Again, this person who uploaded this video was probably drinking way too much vodka and playing old Tatu CDs.




Then there is this gem. I can not decide whether or not this is actually funny or really just very stupid. This proves that as a country we have completely jumped the shark. The folks who put this thing together spent the last five days snorting meth off a hunting knife while driving an old Yugo to Mexico. If you check their record you'll find numerous arrests for public intoxication and crimes against nature.




I could not have a video segment without taking another shot against Sarah Palin. I have tried to listen to one of her speeches and I can't get through any one of them without wanting to shoot myself in the knee cap and poor vodka on the wound. Her statements are full of either absurd falsehoods, patronizing drivel, inane stupidity, and over used cliches. She is the biggest and most flagrant example of everything that is wrong with politics right now. Fake, condescending, and shrill. My twelve year old daughter can see through Palin's veneer of competency and legitimacy. She exclaimed in the car driving to get Chinese food that Palin was a "gimmick." Fact of the matter is that with every word she speaks she proves how much of a gimmicky figure head she is who was only put on the ticket to manipulate and con people into thinking that McCain was progressive. Anyone who believes that this Palin character is legitimate should move to North Korea. So for giggles I added this last video. Enjoy!!

A New Low And Your Pro Football Picks

I love the above video. It is the latest chapter of the most surreal downfall in the history of professional sports. The Oakland Raiders were once a proud franchise that had it's own mystique that personified the grit of the ugly sister of the Bay Area main cities. Three Super Bowls. Ken Stabler. Al Davis in jump suits. Stick-Um soaked uniforms. All part of the lore of the Raiders. Prior to this week the Raiders had sunk to one of the worst franchises in professional sports. As an Atlanta sports fan, I know all about being the worst franchise in professional sports...we have the Falcons and the Hawks...and we know how stellar those franchises are!! Remember everyone that the Raiders had a Super Bowl appearance in this decade. Of course, the week of the game, their center went on a literal manic rant and ended up in Mexico doing who knows what. He's in prison now, I think, but I digress. The Bowl loss to Tampa Bay and the team's coach from the previous season who was run out of town by Al Davis before he died led to a free-fall at a massive level. Not even the fall from grace of Barry Bonds, Pete Rose, Roger Clemens, and Barry Manilow can compare to the suicide jump from the Bay Bridge the Raiders have taken. When Coach Chuckie was run out of town to Tampa it was clear that Al Davis's brain had finally succumbed to the effects of untreated syphilis. He had gone absolutely insane and eventually died four years ago. They prop up his body in the booth during games and at his desk like El Cid. Decisions are made by putting choices on pieces of paper on his desk and raising his cold hand over his head and letting it randomly flop on a choice. Hence we have the choice of Lane Kiffin as a head coach and letting Fargas be a starting running back. The fact that Kiffin is still the head coach proves that Al Davis is really dead and the key decisions are being made by a flopping hand. The fact that upper management of the Raiders openly criticizes Kiffin and, as the video above illustrates, attacks reporters during pressers shows that the Raiders have sunk to being the worst professional sports franchise. The Knicks are right there, but the Raiders have caught up. I am almost ashamed to admit that I have been a fan of the Raiders. For one of the stupidest reasons in the history of sports fandom. Here's the story. When I was thirteen my best friend had an electric football set. He had all of the NFL teams. He also had a wild imagination. He ran a electric football league with all of the NFL teams playing a shortened season and then a play-off leading to a Super Bowl. He liked to include his friends in the game by making them players on various teams in the league. One season I was "drafted" by the then Los Angeles Raiders. I did better than Todd Marinovich and won three Super Bowl titles three MVP awards, married Madonna, and ended up the Hall of Fame in the Silver Spring, Maryland electric football league before being found in a hotel room with a drugged out prate bear, a rabbit, ten bags of heroin, and the Olsen twins. At that point, being thirteen and a wanna-be goth sports degenerate the Raiders were appealing. They have not won a Super Bowl, electric or otherwise, since.

Now the Raiders are run by a dead guy who died of syphilis four years ago. The Raiders have gone 19-61 in the last five years. They have had fifty head coaches in that time frame. They have also made horrible personnel decisions and random draft picks that have led to a sense of disorder that only is eclipsed in it's ineptness by the Bush presidency and WaMu. The team on the field is actually playing better even though they blew a nine point lead with four minutes left last weekend. However, internally, when your team is being run by a dead guy you have surreal moments like upper management types with bad polo shirts attacking reporters at a presser for asking questions about the death watch of Lane Kiffin while on the other hand the same bad polo short wearing idiots bash the same coach every day in the press. The franchise has fallen to a new low. The lowest and worst professional franchise. Congratulations.


Atlanta at Carolina (-6.5)
Bill Simmons summed up my feelings about the 2-1 Falcons with this passage today:

"I'd feel a little better if their two victories hadn't come against Nos. 31 and 30 on this list. Still, your average Falcons fan is like a broke college student who went to a casino with $100 to gamble, turned it into $300 in 20 minutes, put a $100 chip in his pocket, shrugged his shoulders and said, "Whatever happens from now on, worst-case scenario, I'm breaking even."

My feelings exactly. Everything else might just be icing. Did you notice that both Michael Turner and Julius Norwood are averaging over six yards a carry? That won't be the case after Sunday. The Panthers are a better team. They are playing at home. They should win by at least a touchdown. It will be a struggle to score points. Take the under also.
Dippy: Carolina, of course.

San Francisco at New Orleans (-5)
The Saints have been a huge disappointment in my book. They supposedly made upgrades to their offense and defense. None of that has bore fruit. They have no defense to speak of and they are going up against a real upgraded offense in San Francisco. The Saints can't stop the pass (or even the run). This might be a track meet and I would take the 49ers.
Dippy: New Orleans.

Washington at Dallas (-11)
The line in this game is too high. I know that Tony Romo is at home. He's probably been drinking Jess under the table for the last two weeks and doing cocaine with TO. Nevertheless, the Cowboys are the best team in the NFC. But this line is too high in this rivalry game. Take the points with Washington who will keep it close against an over-rated defense.
Dippy: Washington.

Baltimore at Pittsburgh (-5.5)
The Ravens are better than any of us think. Their defense is back to am above average level and their offense looks actually functional under Flacco (the worst football name ever). New coach and new energy for Baltimore will come down to reality this week. Pittsburgh is so brazenly vanilla that they dare you to try to beat them even though everyone knows what they are going to do next. Take Pittsburgh.
Dippy: Baltimore.

Minnesota at Tennessee (-3)
This looks like a complete sucker bet. The Titans at home against the Vikings. On paper, the Titans are playing at a higher level. Be careful of the Titans. Even with Kerry Collins as the quarterback they are a formidable team. He's actually an upgrade. A real quarterback. Their offense is functional and their defense is very good. Petersen is hurt, again. Take the Titans. This one looks so easy that I am tempted to pick the Vikings. Nonetheless, I believe in the Titans. I wonder if Collins is still sober.
Dippy: Tennessee.

USC Loses And It's On The Coach...And Your College Picks

You know as I stayed up and watched as Oregon State who was a twenty five point underdog at home against Southern California go out to a twenty one point lead and hold on for the win I was so happy I did not even try to pick that game. This happens every year to USC. They play huge against a major opponent (if you can call Ohio State a major opponent) and absolutely kill them on a national network stage. Then they turn around and blow a game where they are a huge favorite against a mid-level or worse conference team. Last year it was Stanford, the year before it was this same Oregon State squad. When teams repeatedly blow games that they should easily win. C'mon, the Pac-10 aside from USC is absolutely a waste of space. The conference should lose their BCS affiliation for being so pointless. OK, back to the point...if teams blow games like USC has year after year you have to blame coaching. It is clear that USC has huge talent. They have enough talent to compete against the Kansas City Chiefs. They have massive depth in every position. On paper, they are the most talented team in college football (by the way, Georgia, Florida, and Oklahoma are close). They should kill teams like Oregon State and Stanford. Instead, they lose. It's a coaching problem. Pete Carroll has been known as a "players coach." What this means in laymans terms is that he is a "fun" coach. These types of coaches try to be one with the players. They try to be a brother in arms with them and be their friend rather than someone with clear authority. Their teams are run in a loose framework with little discipline, structure, and the players run the show. This did not work for Coach Carroll when he coached in the NFL where he had marginal success. He lucked out by being at USC where it is very easy to recruit a constant flow of talent. The campus is in LA. The weather is great. The women are hot. They compete for major bowls every year. They are on TV all the time. I don't have a coaching background, but I could recruit talent to USC. It is clear that Coach Carroll does not prepare his teams well to play games they should easily win. When loose coaches let the players set the tempo for the team it is like handing a credit card to Lindsey Lohan with no credit limit. It gets unpredictable, up and down, and eventually things fall flat. When you let young men (or women) who are 18 to 22 set the tempo for your team then emotions and energy will rise and fall worse than the current market. That is what happens when you have a "players coach" at the major college level. Coach Carroll is that type of coach and USC is that type of team: overly emotional, somewhat undisciplined, and prone to mental lapses. What is required is a coach who instills a sense of structure, order, routine, and discipline. This does not mean that the coach has to be mean and yell at the players using every four letter word imaginable. You do not have to be Bob Knight. But, a coach needs to demonstrate that there will be rules, there will be accountability, there will be order, and there will be a "right" way things are done. In major college football and in the NFL these are young men who in most cases did not come from a background where there was a sizable amount of leadership, structure, discipline, and order. Unfortunately, the better the player the less amount of accountability. These players need these things in order to feel secure and have the right level of confidence. They need to learn these things because they will eventually need them after football is over. The lack of consistent order causes chaos and unpredictable behavior. That is what happens with the "players coach." My favorite example of a coach that teaches fundamentals, expects accountability, has consistent order, and commands respect without being a Bob Knight is Indianapolis Colts head coach Tony Dungy.



Coach Dungy runs his team with discipline, structure, accountability, and with a soft tongue. His players report that he rarely raises his voice and they do not recall a time where he has used any profanity. His players all respect him as a calming influence and someone who expects players to hold themselves accountable, to follow rules, and meet expectations. He runs his program with clear rules and expectations. His structure and discipline are consistent and effective. When was the last time you heard a Colt player provide bulletin board material to opponents the week before a game? When has anyone seen a player on his team openly call out another player or the coaching staff? When have seen his team panic in key situations? When has anyone seen the team openly look the other way when a teammate runs afoul of team rules or the law? It just does not happen. Colt players often report that they worry most about disappointing Dungy and their own teammates rather than worrying about their own stat sheet or their next contract. The Colts are a quiet franchise. They have very little drama and discord. Their coach personifies this image. He leads quietly with clear expectations, consequences, and structure. He runs his team. If Manning played for the Cowboys, for example, he would be running the team all on his own without a net and no one to reign him in. On the Colts, he is a vocal leader, but one that has restraint. The results of all of this quiet leadership? They speak for themselves. A Super Bowl title and consistent play-off appearances. No dips. No big ups and downs. Just steady winning and the respect of the rest of the league.



There are other coaches out there that are demanding and expect accountability and responsibility. Tom Coughlin of the Giants (another Super Bowl champion) may have gone a little too far in many respects, but he is not a players coach. He has clear rules and expectations. His team responds accordingly. The players that have complained have been prima donnas who got too accustomed to playing by their own rules. In the end, they acquiesced. Coughlin softened up before last season, but still kept the structure and discipline in place. The result: a remarkable play-off run and the biggest upset in Super Bowl history in February.



Coach Carroll has won a national championship at USC. I am not suggesting that he is a bad coach. He has consistently won at USC for years. They are a major national college football power. Yet, he is a "players coach" and as a result his teams have huge swings in mood and behavior (just like Sarah Palin), little self-control (like John McCain), and are vulnerable to bottoming out and crashing the party (like the GOP during a major financial crisis). The loss to Oregon State last night is not surprising. It has happened before and as long as Carroll remains at USC it will happen again.


Dippy is currently in jail for stalking Sarah Palin. He was quite delusional when he was arrested as he was ranting about robot cyborgs from the future and that he had to marry Palin in order to get her pregnant with "super soldiers" to fight the robots that were protecting her. I am guessing this is from all the mushrooms he got a hold of from his brother, Malcolm, who is a guy who thinks that Jerry Garcia is still alive. Dippy wrote his college football picks on a scrap of toilet paper and someone got it smuggled out. He asked if I would bail him out. I just don't think I can post $200,000.

So here we go:
Minnesota at Ohio State (-19)
I am only picking this game because I am going to Minnesota next weekend. I am really hoping that I will find people that will talk like they do in Fargo. That would be very cool. Minnesota is a putrid team. Ohio State is over-rated. Does not matter as Ohio State will destroy Minnesota by at least three touchdowns. Take OSU.
Dippy: Minnesota.

Virginia at Duke (-7)
When do you ever see Duke actually favored in an ACC game? Has it happened since Spurrier was coaching in Durham? Virginia may not win a game against a I-A school this season. They can not do anything. Their quarterback has been kicked off the team because he can't lay off the tree. Their coach is simply terrible. Their defense can't stop anyone. Take Duke.
Dippy: Virginia.

Mississippi at Florida (-22)
I truly do think that Florida is the best team in the SEC. They have a major chip on their shoulder this season. Tebow is more concerned about winning than padding his numbers. Florida wants to win the SEC this year. They will take their frustration that everyone is talking about Georgia out on Mississippi who will forever be a second tier SEC team, which is good enough to go to a fifth tier bowl game. Take the Gators.
Dippy: Mississippi

Tennessee at Auburn (-6.5)
I am amazed that the line in this game is so low. Auburn played tough against LSU and they are a very good team. Tennessee is not as good. They got torched by Florida because they made so many mental errors and by the time they got the head out of their own ass it was too late. Auburn is the 2nd best team in the SEC West. Tennessee is the fourth best team in the East. Take Auburn at home against an over-rated Tennessee team.
Dippy: Auburn.

Alabama at Georgia (-6.5)
You know that college football is king in Georgia when the Atlanta Journal-Constitution sent a breaking news text message to it subscribers that the Bulldogs would be wearing black on Saturday and they wanted the fans attending the game to wear black as well. In New York, this news would be buried on page C10. The problem is that players win football games, not jerseys. The Bulldogs need to be careful. It's a stunt to try to rally around a jersey color for inspiration. Try winning. If the line was seven I would pick Alabama who might be better than we think. Georgia does have the better team, but it's going to be tight. I do think that the Dawgs will win by a touchdown. Take Georgia.
Dippy: Roll Tide, Asshole who won't bail me out of jail!!!!

Dippy:
Last week 8-2
Total: 17-11-2

Fox:
Last week 5-5
Total: 15-13-2