Some Random Ranting

I come home from a short week at work and the TV is on in the kitchen and what do I see? I see video of Britney Spears being loaded into an ambulance and whisked away to a hospital in L.A. where reportedly she was involuntarily hospitalized due to behavioral health and substance abuse problems. Though it would be easy to take shots at Britney I have decided to stand down. To take shots at her would be making fun of someone who has been turning into a rather tragic public figure. A young woman who truly has significant behavioral health and substance abuse issues that have impaired her functioning to the point that for her (and maybe others) safety she had to be hospitalized. Entertainment Tonight described it as a "72 hour lockdown." This depiction of the involuntary hospitalization process is extremely damaging to the public perception of mentally ill or substance abusing individuals. It says that mentally ill people need to be "locked down" when their illness gets out of hand. I have absolutely no respect for entertainment tabloid shows, magazines, and Internet sites that promote the stigma of mental illness as they have in their description of the Britney saga. This saga is bitterly sad to watch and has victimized everyone involved-including Britney's children.



I read today that some rather enterprising women in Arizona are having taser parties. That is a novel idea. Never thought of it, but I wish I had. Invite your favorite people over and take a look at the wonderful taser products. You can even test the products on your "special" friends. You know, the person that stole your boyfriend, the person who got that big promotion at work, your in-laws, your neighbor's angry dog, small rodents, and clowns. They even have (I am not joking about this) pink tasers as well as many other flashy colors. This leads to this potential exchange:

Robber: Give me your money!!!
Taser Handler: Get away!!
Robber: I said give me your money!!
Taser Handler: Get away or I will use this!! (Pulls out pretty pink taser) I mean it!!!
Robber: Wow, that is a pretty taAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (3000 volts smashing into the robbers chest)

Classic. Sign me up.



Last night, the great people in the state of Iowa helped the country take the first step in deciding the successor to President Asterisk. Despite having no reported money (around $500,000 on hand compared to Hilary Clinton's over $40,000,000), Mike Huckabee won the Republican Iowa Caucus in convincing fashion. Huckabee is a pastor and former Governor of Arkansas, which given what we know about Arkansas governors makes him a conflicted and interesting candidate. Barack Obama handily won on the Democratic side. Obama, otherwise known as the Oprah Book Club Candidate (OBCC, for short), is the current senator from Illinois and has not functioned as a senator since he was elected as he has been distracted by running for President since 2000. Obama won in a state that is in middle America and is 95% white. In the grand scheme of things this is a dramatic development. Will it carry him to the convention and a nomination? Hard to say, since he may have to deal with a potential "Tryst with Oprah" scandal soon. I have not decided my endorsement for President yet. Whoever it is does not want my endorsement. I have only endorsed the eventual Presidential winner once since 1980. That was Clinton in 1996. I have a better record picking pro football this year where I was sixteen games over .500 picking every game against the spread. I also want to take the time now to fulfill a promise I made on stage in 1992. That is, to announce that I am running for President in 2012. I announced this campaign in 1992 at a bar in Richmond, Virginia. Now I making good on it. I will be accepting donations. I have plenty of scandals in the closet which I plan to own up to (except the ones that will land me in prison in Arkansas). FOX4NX FOR PRESIDENT IN 2012: THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!!!
My picks for the wild-card weekend:

Redskins (+3.5) over SEAHAWKS
As long as Jason Campbell does not step on the field, the Redskins roll will continue as their defense will shut down the passing game of Seattle. Don't count out the affects of emotions and great defense in the play-offs.

STEELERS (+2.5) over Jacksonville
Jacksonville proved only that they could win in Pittsburgh in the snow in the regular season. The playoffs are a different animal. Pittsburgh feels disrespected by being underdogs at home in this one and will roll over a team being quarterbacked by someone who has never played a playoff game. Not pretty.

TAMPA BAY (-2.5) over Giants
Eli Manning played his best game as a pro against the Evil Empire lead by Zoolander and Coach Hoodie. He will not repeat the same performance in Tampa. This game matters more and Eli will choke like his dad in big games. Hopefully, this will mean that Coughlin gets fired, which will be the best thing to happen to Eli since his mother and father decided to have another kid after Peyton.

Titans (+9.5) over CHARGERS
Norv Turner is not a NFL Head Coach. He is a great coordinator. Not a head coach. He will prove this point this weekend. The Titans find ways to win. It's not pretty, but they find a way. That is all that matters in the play-offs. Bad coaching will kill you and it will kill LT this weekend.

Trojan Condom (-99) over TOM BRADY
Tom Zoolander Brady is off this weekend so you know what that means!!! Let's pray that the condom works this time around.