Communication is seen as an essential piece in the cog of a functional relationship. However, it goes deeper than that. We all communicate with our partners and significant others. We do it all the time every day and every moment that we are with our loved one (or mistress or dominatrix, well, maybe not your dominatrix who won't let you look at her anyways). There are two main forms of communication. There is verbal communication which is what we say (or don't say). Then there is non-verbal communication. Non-verbal communication is our body language, eye contact, and facial expressions that tell the other person the messages that we may be unable or unwilling to say with our true voice. Most will say that our non-verbal communication is really our true voice (just ask our buddy Bill Belichick) because a lot of our non-verbal communication is sub-conscious (or slightly below our awareness in the moment). It is also very powerful in how it effects those around us. A defensive posture (arms crossed showing we are closed to the other person) suggests being stand offish and not open to listening. You don't want to do this when your partner is talking about renewing your vows, offering sex, or telling you that your son ran off with a weather cult as it will likely put (and piss) them off even if it is not your intent. If you choose (or not choose) to not make eye contact with your partner he/she may feel that you are either not listening or not telling the truth. If you maintain eye contact then it communicates that are you listening, paying attention, and more likely to tell the truth. One bit of an aside here, just because someone makes eye contact with you does not always mean they are telling the truth. This has more to do with where and how they are using their eyes. If your hands are on your lap and you leaning slightly forward towards your partner then that suggests openness and welcoming communication with the other person. Your facial expressions are quite telling as well. Grimacing or having a scowl on your face when your partner is trying to talk to you is a recipe for having an open invite to sleep in the garage. You can make a scowl or grimace only if your partner says something that suggests that is the appropriate response. An example is if your partner tells you that they wrapped your Ferrari around a power transformer. This should cause a grimace or other angry look on your face. A facial expression that is appropriate smiling and warm will communicate that you are open to listening and sharing information. Studies involving parents and their newborn babies illustrate the power of non-verbal communication. When the mothers or fathers would make eye contact, smile, and have open body posture with their baby then the baby would smile, giggle, and make eye contact. When the parents showed no eye contact, had no expression or a scowl on their face, and closed body postures then the baby would cry incessantly. The researchers offered that 94% of the impact positively or negatively in communication was the non-verbal communication. Thus, proving a point that how you say something is more important then what you said. The best person to help you become more aware of your non-verbal communication is your partner. Ask your significant other how they perceive and feel about your non-verbal communication. Try to be open to the answer as it may be a surprise to you, but it will also be helpful in improving your relationship. Awareness of something is always the first step to change.
Other random rants:
The writers strike needs to end soon. I don't know a lot of the details and who is mad at who and who won't sit with who in the cafeteria, but to me it does not matter. What matters is that TV viewers of our favorite shows are now being held hostage by a guy who drinks 29 shots of vodka in one sitting and has not slept since 1987. These are our TV writers who are holding us hostage as our favorite shows are now in re-run status out of production. We are now getting game show and reality TV overload which will eventually do more damage to the TV industry than the 1994 baseball strike did to baseball. I turned on network TV tonight and found two game shows and American Idol. I realize that these types of shows are quite popular. However, one of my philosophical points is that too much of anything is always bad. We will reach that point very soon. If we reach that point then I am pulling an Elvis and shooting my TV for good and then I will be drinking 29 shots of vodka and not sleeping, which is pretty much what I am doing now anyways.
Read the news today and found out that the coroner report on Ike Turner came out. Cause of death: Cocaine overdose. Now remember that Ike was 76 when he died. Of course, the fact that Ike died of a cocaine overdose is no surprise. If it was a surprise to you then you really should only be allowed to watch VH1.
Speaking of VH1, I was at a friend's house last night and saw parts of Celebrity Rehab. No, I am not kidding. No, I am not talking about Celebrity Fit Club. No we're talking about rehab. Drug and alcohol rehab. Now mostly everybody there was virtually unrecognizable from when they were really famous. The folks there also have mostly (with maybe one exception) been relegated to D-List status. Of course, one of the reasons they may have hit D-list status is because of the drugs and booze. However, watching one of the untalented Baldwin brothers (they all probably need some sort of help) discussing the possibility that he could have cocaine in his fat cells left me wondering: why am I watching this? This is like watching a twenty-five car pile-up over and over. Or watching re-runs of Ellen or watching midget porn. Disturbing, but riveting at the same time. Let me know when Gary Coleman or one of the members of the band Poison show up.
I want to thank everyone for contributing to my Presidential campaign for 2012. We are off to a great start and only $50,000,000 behind Hilary. We are well on our way. I guess I need a platform or something to run on. I'll go with the Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite plan: "A vote for me and all your wishes will come true" or something like that.
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