Random Saturday Night Ramblings

I do not want to say that I told you so, but I am taking a shot at it now. I wake up this morning and look at the headlines in the nation's papers and find that Sly Stallone admitted that he used HGH in order to prepare for his most recent Rambo movie that was released this past Friday. Stallone, 61, stated that doing HGH was "no big deal" and that the comparisons made between HGH and steroids is like comparing gerbils to hamsters. I TOLD YOU SO!!!! I told you that he was held together with HGH, rubber bands, and botox. I told you that he was looking more like the TomKat baby or Britany Spears everyday. I told you that he was on a one way ticket to Lyle Alzado's crib in the dirt. I am so happy!!! I am not particularly happy that Stallone used HGH, but in the end I simply don't care if he did or not. What I am happy about is that he stated the truth (even though it was clearly obvious that he did something). This stands in stark contrast to our Major League Baseball players who in the face of nearly overwhelming, but mostly circumstantial evidence almost unanimously have not come forward to give us the truth. They have not come forward and in most cases have issued denial after denial. The unholy triad of McGwire, Sosa, and Bonds have all given us close to nothing in the way of the truth despite the obvious. They are a minority in comparison to the even larger number of lesser known players who felt like they needed to use HGH or steroids in order to just compete on the field, period. There is a litany of players who felt like they were never going to make it to even to AAA ball let alone the Show who took whatever they felt would work to get them near the field. I am not sure that I would have not done the same thing under the same circumstances. However, I would not issue denials and other language gymnastics in the face of the evidence that exists. The truth will set you free. Once you offer the truth then the vultures stop chasing you looking for it. It happened with Andy Pettitte. The Mitchell Report rolled out. He was named in it. He came forward and told the world that he did use HGH to recover from injury (another big reason why it is used across the board by athletes) and that was it. No cameras watching his every move. No conversations on sports radio about what he should do or say next. It was done and over. The masses moved on from him to his best friend (maybe not anymore) Roger Clemens who issued denials and law suits, but not the truth. Do I believe the Rocket got some special Rocket Fuel? Of course I do!!! Why? Because Clemens' stamina, body, and pitching ability at his age completely defies logic. That's why. There is something to do about his workout regimen, but logically everyone his age begins a sharp breakdown and particularly after the pounding that professional athletes take year after year. So in the end, I applaud Sly Stallone who looks like he should be on a space ship with TomKat to whatever moon they are headed to next.


I also saw a story today in which a cat managed to come across some child porn in the kitchen of a house in Texas. The owners of the cat stated that the porn was not theirs and the police bought the story and arrested someone who looked like my gardener. Last year we heard the stories of felines in nursing homes cuddling up to patients who eventually would die within the following twelve hours. Now, my cat finds things like dead birds, lost toys, condoms, pieces of 100 day old chicken, and sometimes an elusive lost girlfriend. Why can't my cat fight crime and cause death? I apparently need a new cat. These other cats out there are apparently much more useful than my kitty that simply eats, sleeps, farts, drinks Stoli and goes to the bathroom all day long. Ever seen a cat drink Stoli? Well, it is not a pretty sight. Eventually, after a few licks from the shot glass she uses she begins to act just like Lindsey Lohan after a three day bender. My cat is not ready to quit drinking yet. I am not sure that there is an alcohol rehab for kitties anyways. If there is please let me know. I am a little tired of having to roll Kitty over so she does not choke on her own vomit.

Barack Obama won the South Carolina Democratic primary today. This was no surprise to me or anyone else for that matter. Unfortunately, I do not think that he will be able to win the nomination in the long run. I believe that the Lizard Lady Clinton will eventually win the nomination in the end. She has more money, more clout, more state troopers, and absolutely no qualms about cheating her way to victory. Victory is all the matters to Hillary. She obviously does not care about the people that she will be serving. She does not care about the shrinking middle class, the working poor, or the indigent. She cares only about winning. She will reshuffle the deck, count cards, and steal whatever number of chips she needs in order to win. Someone this dedicated to winning can not be trusted. Period. However, one wonders if anyone in the field can be trusted at all either. That is why in my run for President I will tell you the truth. I have cheated. I have had skeletons in the closet. I have inhaled. I have nothing to hide. And in the end, for me, winning is not the most important thing. Of course, that is for me to say when I have as much chance at winning a general election as I have winning next week's Super Bowl.

Maria Sharapova won the Australian Open this weekend. I have to say that I am very pleased that she and a number of other Russian top ranked tennis players are destroying the stereotype of the Russian woman. You know that stereotype. The twenty year old Russian woman who looks and dresses like your 82 year old grandmother. That type. Maria does not look like my grandmother. No wonder TV ratings for women's tennis are improving (and, sadly, I don't think it is because of the tennis).