President Asterisk Has A Man Crush On Putin!!!

Time magazine named Vladimir Putin their Person of the Year in 2007. I had not known this until I was walking through my local bookstore and saw a face that could only remind me of a bad vampire movie. The face of the current and future Russia: Vladimir Putin.

For most people, I imagine that Putin being named as a Person of the Year in the U.S. was a curious choice and I was albeit surprised myself. Not at Time's choice, but by the fact that they were able to get a picture of the man in perfect cold icy death stare mode. Completely stereotypical Russian. Perfect man crush material for President Bush.

I believe that it should be noted that there are significant comparisons between Putin and our current President Asterisk. It should also be noted that Putin has managed to do things that our President would simply love to do, but probably could not get away with it. Both Putin and * hate any known opposition to their rule. They refuse to listen to any dissenting voices within their own government and populace. Putin has taken it one step further by shutting down TV stations and newspapers that have had the audacity to challenge his leadership. This is an arena that I am sure that Bush would love to be able to do, but would never get away with it. Putin has gotten away with it by systematically destroying any political party or individual that openly or secretly has cried a dissenting voice. He has done this by arresting, harassing, and threatening anyone who could possibly challenge him. Gary Kasparov, the former chess champion has been arrested numerous times for speaking out. Putin has been accused of even having real or imagined opposition leaders killed. Anna Politkovskaya, the opposition writer was murdered in her own apartment building and there has been no suspects or an investigation of any merit by authorities. Bush, on the other hand, manipulates the media by giving them propaganda to read to the Paris Hilton crazed masses. He and his cronies attempt at every turn to conduct smear campaigns to discredit their opposition as "non-American" or "anti-our military" when a different course is suggested on Iraq or the War on (the Wrong) Terror. Putin is more obvious, but Bush does the same things in a more subtle fashion and less noticed by most of the populace. President * and Putin have both launched a vicious and randomized war on terrorists-and failed miserably. At great loss of time, money, and most importantly, lives, Bush has waged a war on Iraq and Afghanistan that has not greatly reduced the threat of terrorism to America but, in many ways increased it worldwide. He has increased it world-wide by ignoring and angering the international community by initiating the war with Iraq for his own personal reasons (avenging Daddy Asterisk). Now, America is scorned throughout the world for showboating it's superpower status and simply being ignorant and arrogant. As a result, the world is not safe for Americans anywhere. Putin, on the other hand, has launched a vicious war on his own turf against the Chechens who only want their own independent state. Putin has labeled them terrorists (to garner popular opinion) and has launched his own brand of terror against them. He has used the same tactics against them as they have used against the Russian people. Random attacks, death squads, and bombings have been the norm for the Russian military and security services. It has been even rumored that Putin ordered his own security services to blow up Russian apartment complexes in order to blame the Chechens for terrorizing the motherland, enhancing the fear of the Russian people, and increasing support for his Stalinist measures. There have been similar conspiracy theories about Bush's role in terror activities on U.S. soil so one wonders what he is capable of (particularly if he thought he could get away with it). The result for Putin? Hundreds of people killed in a theater in Moscow, hundreds of people killed at a school in Ossetia, and at least one airliner shot out of the sky killing hundreds.

Putin made the following statement at his annual New Year's speech two days ago:

"We not only restored our territorial integrity but also we felt united. These years we worked together in order to preserve our country and turn it into a modern, free and strong state, which may be convenient and comfortable for citizens' life...We see that Russia has been strengthening every year. We see that our economy is growing and new opportunities are opening for the people...Let us wish each other new success and raise our glasses to the health and happiness of our relatives and to those we love and take care of most of all, and to whom we give our warmth and to whom we will be close...Let your longest dreams to come true."

Doesn't this sound familiar to the numerous President Asterisk speeches where he has told the American people that we are safer, the economy is better, and the war has been won?

Another similarity that people are looking forward to is that this year Russia and the U.S. will elect a new President. In two months, Russians will take to the polls in a general election that has only been held four times in Russian history. The problem is: there is only one viable Russian candidate (We may not have any when all is said and done here in the U.S. if Iowa is any indication). Deputy Prime Minister Dmitri Medvedev has been hand selected by President (Head Vampire) Putin to head his party into the next election. The other candidates have been harassed and arrested into oblivion. This is a move that Bush dreams of. In another move that I imagine our own President * would love, Putin has named himself the future Russian prime minister in order to stay involved in Russian politics. An important thing for Americans to understand about Russia is that in over a thousand years Russia has never had a leader or leadership that was not significantly authoritarian in nature. For centuries, Russia has had heavy handed czars, Party leaders, and Presidents. One could site Yeltsin and Gorby as exceptions, but both landed in exile in their own country-on house arrest. The Russian people are comfortable with leaders who are heavy handed and aggressive in their leadership. They actually feel safer and have more pride in their country. The opposite is true for America.

To Putin's credit, he has done a few things that Bush ("*") has not in his years as President of Russia. The economy in Russia has grown by at least seven percent every year in the last four years. Russia has paid off all of their debt. Russian workers salaries are on the average double than what they were in 2003. Even without opposition, Putin would likely have huge support in his own country for these reasons. These reasons coupled with Russia once again harassing their weaker neighbors, enhancing their military, and sending nuclear fuel to everyone's favorite party country Iran make Putin a major force to be reckoned with. More so then his admirer Bush? Yes. To the world, Bush is a joke. To the world, Putin is the head vampire of a rising power. This is where each man goes their separate way despite the "man crush" each has for the other.