Only Tom Brady

Only Tom Brady could lure me out of my hiatus. However, I sent a warning several months ago. I stated to Tom and the world that as long as he stayed down that I would not go after him this season. All Tom had to do was stay down. Stay out of the spotlight. Stay out of camera shot. Nurse your knees and have your supermodel girl-friend nurse everything else. Just stay away from the public eye. Let the Patriots be mad at you for using your family vet to operate on your knee. Let your girlfriend run out and get the wrong condoms. Have Caoch Hoodie hand over the reigns of the Evil Empire to another quarterback. Just don't come out into the light. Be a vampire like Bill from TrueBlood and stay out of the daylight.

So as I am sitting in Lexington, Virginia on Thanksgiving I pop open SportsCenter I see Tom wearing a stupid green hat feeding people at a shelter somewhere. He had his usual shit eating grin with reporters up in his grill asking him how his knee is or how his knees could take the pounding in the S&M chamber that his girl-friend makes him visit each day. His dominatrix girlfriend was also there just kicking herself for having to spend any time with anyone who might be a consumer of a Goodwill training center in Roxbury, MA. Since the media piranhas decided to descend on the happy couple serving pumpkin pie, Tom felt compelled to smile, giggle, dodge questions, and act like the NFL's version of Zoolander. Trust me it gave me the holiday spirit. I mean it was as touching as watching one of the movies on the Lifetime Movie Channel. You know about those movies. Made for $50,000 featuring a woman who has amnesia, a false identity, and a former lover that tried to run her over with a Jeep Cherokee who eventually goes insane and kills about ten people just like the BTK killer. So touching that I want to eat more turkey and five day old doughnuts.

So now, Tom, I am letting you know since you failed to completely meet your end of our deal by going out into the light (I don't care if it was charity work...you could have done it outside of the cameras and the public eye) when you should have stood down that the deal is off. I am going after you, the Evil Empire, and the Hoodie. It's over. You break a deal with me you break a deal with the devil. And the devil always gets pay back. Thank you for helping me to get out of my personal life for enough time to come right after you.

Hiatus

As you may have noticed, I have taken down several posts on this blog. I have determined that due to significant personal issues and out of respect of those that I care for and care for me that it is appropriate to take these specific posts off the blog.

Furthermore, I have decided that I will be going on a hiatus for writing this blog. I am undergoing some very intense personal issues that I will need to work on before I am able to resume writing for this blog. I will resume at such time as things in my world settle.

I wish all of you well during this process.

Your NFL Picks

I am on-call again.  I got called at 4:30 this morning by an ER doc who wanted to make a referral for Monday.  I love this job!  On one hand I was glad that I could go back to sleep.  On the other hand, there was no point in waking me up at that hour to start with.  That's the problem with night shift folks.  They believe since they are up that everyone else should get up too and join the fun.  I had a family member who would only work the night shift in the hospital.  He stated that on night shift the administration is not there to mess with you and you can definitely get away with stuff on shift that would get you fired during the day.  Like getting oral sex in a closet, smoking crack or gambling at craps.  OK, you have a good point there.  

I sent a letter to Bill Simmons concerning my idea to turn MLB into the English Premier League which has not been answered.  I suspect that it will not get answered as he probably got 100,000 letters just like mine saying the exact same thing.  I guess I'll have to take the case to court or something. I use my cat, Mick, as my attorney. He would be damn good. He knows exactly how to prepare briefs and motions. The only problem is that I don't think he passed the bar. I guess I might have to defend myself. I can't pay his fees anyways. But, I do have Dippy who definitely knows how to handle himself in a court room. He just will need to make sure that he does not wear his blood and semen stained pirate bear outfit.

Now for my pro picks.  According the wonderful folks at wagerline.com I am six games under .500 in my NFL picks for the year so far.  I am 49% against the spread and over/under picks combined.  That puts me over 9000 units in the hole and in the 6th percentile of everyone else.  So in two weeks I have earned back over 1000 units.  If Mick was making the picks I am sure that he would be on top of the leaderboard up about 15,000 units.  He is absolutely gifted at making picks.  Last night he picked the Nuggets to beat the Celtics and the Lakers to lose to Detroit.  He was right on both counts.  The likelihood that this was going to occur was around 32-1.  I've gotta go with his picks more often or take him to Vegas to count cards.

Denver at Atlanta (-6.5)

OK, Atlanta is a good team.  They have a good formula for victory.  They are now getting some national attention.  They have done much better than anyone expected.  Matt Ryan could be the second coming of...of...of...who knows.  Denver has been underachieving.  They have a good quarterback who has been cooling off.  I do not know who is running the ball for them and they have a terrible pass defense.   When I first saw this game on the schedule I penciled in a twenty plus point loss.  Not today.  Take Atlanta and the points.

Mick:  Atlanta

Oakland at Miami (-10)

This game is much more interesting than it seems.  Miami is actually a decent team.  Ricky Williams is doing well.  They run gimmick plays.  Chad Pennington is their quarterback, but they have pretty much stayed in every game win or lose.  They are favored by a good margin.  However, they're playing the Raiders.  The Raiders continue to prove that they are the biggest train wreck in all of football.  They are a bigger wreck than the Lions and Rams.  Only the dumpster grease fire that are the Bengals are worse.  But, still...it's real bad.  I heard that the Crypt Keeper tried to call Kenny Stabler in rehab in Alabama to run the run and shoot offense this week.  It's really that bad.  Trust me.  Take the Dolphins.

Mick:  Miami

St. Louis at San Francisco (-6.5)

In order to help the finances of San Francisco 49er fans that may go to this game, the team should give each of the fans their money back when they come to the gates.  Give them free beer, wine, cheese, seal meat, snail, or whatever it is they eat at that dreadful football stadium that is not a football stadium.  Mike Singletary has toned down a little bit after they blew the game against the Cardinals that gave them a false sense of competency.  I have not heard if he has exposed any more body parts to his players in the locker room.  He has not been arrested in Golden Gate Park for lewd activities.  This may be his only real chance to get his first win.  His team better give it to him or else.  The Rams are truly bad.  And so are the 49ers.  Take the 49ers for Mike Singletary's sake.

Mick:  St. Louis

Dallas at Washington (+1)

Dallas is completely demoralized.  They are coached by a guy whose father is named "Bum".  This explains his coaching skills.  TO was on Letterman, which is a bad sign.  As an aside, does anyone believe that he actually put out a children's book?  That makes about as much as sense as me giving out advice on relationships. Tony Romo's pinkie is back, which could be a good sign.  The owner is guaranteeing that the Cowboys will go to the play-offs.  The problem on the other side is that it looks like Shaun Alexander may get some touches at running back for the Redskins, which is a horrible sign for them.  The Redskins best cross dressing player, CP, will not be in the game.  Take Dallas in a must-win game for their fragile psyche.

Mick:  Washington

Minnesota at Tampa Bay (-4)

Not sure what to say about this game.  It's an important game for both teams.  Minnesota is coached by a guy who looks like the janitor at any local middle school (see above pic).  He coaches just as well as one, too.  Tampa is at the top of their division and are clearly a solid team with no flash or major drama.  Not many arrests on that team.  A good sign.  As much as I want the Bucs to stumble I don't think that coach Middle School Janitor can make that happen with a quarterback who is best known for giving himself a concussion by slamming his head into the end zone padding--on purpose.  The Bucs should win fairly easily.  

Mick:  Tampa  

My Letter To Bill Simmons

Bill,
I noticed in your acceptance speech for the nomination as Oprah Obama's "Sports Czar" that one of your platforms was to reduce the number of MLB teams by two through relegation. Last spring, I wrote in my blog, http://fox4nxblog.blogspot.com/2008/02/what-ifmajor-league-baseball-was-like.html, about this very subject, but I took it several steps further. I wrote that MLB should be run just like the English Premier League. My idea was not just relegate two teams, but to send down five. My idea is to relegate the worst five teams by number of wins in MLB to Triple A. The best five teams in Triple A would be promoted to MLB.

The top 5 teams based on wins would join a "Champions" league and compete against the top teams from the top pro leagues from other countries. This would eventually lead to a true World Series between the two best pro teams in the world. The MLB champion would be the team with the most wins at the end of the year.

So by taking these ideas into account the following teams would be relegated:
Washington 59 wins
Seattle 61 wins
San Diego 63 wins
Pittsburgh 67 wins
Baltimore 68 wins

The following teams would advance to Champions League tournament:
LA Angels 100 wins
Chicago Cubs 97 wins
Tampa Bay 97 wins
Boston 95 wins
Philadelphia 92 wins
(The Cubs would be in second based on a better run differential). The champion of MLB would be the Angels.

As I see it, Bill, you put this idea on paper on November 13th, 2008. I put my even more advanced idea back last spring. If you don't believe me look at my blog. Unless you can show that you wrote about this before last spring then I will have to demand that you acknowledge that I developed this idea first.

A Disclaimer

This is a disclaimer regarding advertising on this blog. I am sure that everyone has noticed that there are often ads pertaining to gambling, Boston Celtics gear, anti-Obamaism, and anti-democratic partism. These ads are more than likely a complete contradiction to what I have actually written in the blog.

For the record:
1. I am not a fan of the Boston Celtics. I am not a fan of the New England Patriots. However, since I mention them so many times in this forum there inevitably will be ads trying to get readers to buy their gear. I personally wish that the Patriots would be kicked out of the NFL and forced to play in the CFL. I wish for Coach Hoodie to eventually be nailed in some sort of porn ring and spend fifty years in prison for a RICO violation.

2. Though I joke constantly about gambling, I only gamble with my life. No, just kidding, I do not advocate gambling excessively with money. I do not gamble with money. If I did I would be dead. Why? Because either a gangster bookie or my significant other would kill me. It would be a race as to who would get to me first. I bet on my significant other every time.

3. Throughout the last year I have referred to our President-Elect as Oprah Obama. I gave him that name because she hand picked him to be her candidate just like she picked chick books, the horrific Dr. Phil, and her man-friend who really isn't her man-friend. The power of Oprah is smeared all over the election. However, I do not feel that Obama bought the election. I think that Oprah did. In the end, I was in complete support of Obama once he got the nomination because when compared to McCain he was the better choice. McCain was not to be trusted because he has been in politics for too long and his policies were a mirror image of President Asterisk. He also picked Sarah Palin as a running mate which appealed to people who watched way too much TV, smoked a million unfiltered cigarettes a day, and drank too much regular Coke.

4. I am not a Democrat. I am not a Republican. I am not a jaded Communist. I am not in favor of selling off California to the Mexican cocaine cartels. I am not in favor of giving the state of Minnesota to Canada in exchange for a six pack of beer.
I am politically an independent. I am an equal opportunity basher of politicians and their parties. If you are an absolute moron I do not care who you represent or what your party affiliation I will bash you. I have bashed every President since Jimmy Carter in one shape or form. If a politician does something absurd, stupid, idiotic, or illegal then I will jump all over them. I do not prescribe to a political party. I will go for the candidate that I think is the best choice based on my values. End of story.

I can not wait for the day that the advertising on my blog actually matches my positive view of certain things. I do not choose the advertising on my blog. The wonderful folks at Google using some sort of magic formula of doom do so in a back room somewhere. Of course, does any one really want me to choose the advertising on this blog? I mean, really, do you?

Change Is Here

It is Wednesday night, I am on-call and I am watching a documentary on Peruvian prisons and heard the following line: "Cell Block A loses the (soccer) match without violence, only the mascot dressed as Santa Claus gets hurt." Then the camera shows a pack of Peruvian prison soccer hooligans stomping Santa to death on the concrete soccer field. Then we get to the final credits with some guy with a ton of prison tats and his own prison made nipple ring. Life is good.

Today, I turned in my resignation at my current place of employment. As I indicated several days ago I am in need of making a change. I have decided that I need a change in scenery in order to get back in touch with what I am passionate about in this field. I have determined that I have little interest being diagnostics in direct behavioral health care. Hence, the idea of doing just seeing patients all the day everyday holds little interest. I am mainly interested in the idea of program development, supervision, and maintenance. I believe that in this field I can make more of a difference supervising and directing clinical behavioral health programs rather than providing treatment directly. So I have been offered a better deal (mo' money) with higher responsibility (mo' problems) with an agency in Lynchburg, Virginia. I will be in charge of their intensive programs which includes crisis/emergency services, crisis stabilization, and assertive community treatment services. Every now and then I will deal with purely diagnostics which is also my strong suit as I would rather diagnose and prescribe a level care than providing the level of care directly in the long term. Mainly, in the long term with the same patient I am as useless as Lindsey Lohan's PR consultant. So, I have decided to be the behavioral health version of House, MD without the blood (maybe) and the noticeable limp (hopefully). Everything else will sadly be the same. I, too, believe everyone lies. And I mean everyone.

I have given my current employer four weeks until I leave. I have gotten mixed reactions from people at the office. Some are surprised and some are quite upset. There are many who thought I was telling them that their job was over. Hence, they are relieved once they realized that it's not them that is leaving--it's me. That is the state of affairs out our office in today's economy. Bring on the vodka!!!

Meanwhile, the Atlanta Hawks are 6-0 going into tonight's game in Boston. What? I thought they were going to play just to get Coach Woodson fired. I guess we'll have to wait until January for that to happen.

The Falcons are now 6-3 as they approach a winnable game against Denver in the Georgia Dome. When the schedule came out I had looked at the schedule and saw this game and instantly retorted "Denver 44, Atlanta 9." Now, Denver seems to be cartwheeling through glass and Atlanta is on the way for challenging for a play-off spot. How fortunes can change in the NFL.

I also need to start writing hockey entries, but no one will read them. So why bother? Everyone lies about reading this blig already anyways.

I'm Ready To Join The Matt Ryan Fan Club

So yesterday I posted one of the more depressing rants of my tenure. It would have made The Cure and Pink Floyd proud. In all seriousness, that is the mood that I am in. Today has been a different story as now my attitude is one of taking action as opposed to sitting around feeling miserable. Usually it takes me a day or two to eventually work through any major funk. It takes the Olsen twins less time to go through a bag of blow. Change is in the air. Change is on it's way. Change is on it's way to my household. It's either me or Sarah Palin's clothing account. I will now move on to another subject for fear that I will lose many of you again by going into a long rant about how insane my life has become.

So is there a fan club that I can join? I am sure there has to be. I was wrong this past April. I begged the porn king that owns the Falcons to draft Glenn Dorsey to shore up a porous defensive line. Instead they picked Matt Ryan with their No. 3 pick and I howled saying that the Porn King had further sent the Falcons further into oblivion. I was convinced that his pick of Ryan would eventually be the final blow from the Ron Mexico saga that would officially end the Falcons franchise and move them to Los Angeles. Don't think no one else thought about it.

The Falcons are now 6-3. Yes, that's right. Six wins and three losses. Their losses have been to Carolina (7-2), Tampa (6-3), and Philadelphia (5-3 going into tonight). I was ranting before the season started that the only game that they had a chance to win was the first game against the Lions. I was right about the Lions as they are now riding Dante Culpepper to hopefully a dream season of the reverse undeafeated 0-16 record. I believed that Matt Ryan would be killed in his first season by a Saran Wrap offensive line, recievers who had concrete for hands, and an over-rated Michael Turner. None of this happened. Today, I finally became convinced that there is a hopeful future for Ryan and the Falcons. I have stopped thinking that these early wins were just a fluke and the Falcons were really not as good as they appear. Last Sunday, the Falcons embarassed the Raiders in the own stadium. It was easy to state that a win in Oakland did not mean anything because the Raiders are truly horrible and they are run by dead guy. I looked further into how they won against the Raiders. Ten yards of passing yardage...for the whole game. 300 yards of offense...in the first half. You have to be good to do that to any team in the NFL. Matt Ryan went 17 for 22 with 220 yards with two touchdowns and no interceptions in Oakland. This was the fifth game he would be best be described as efficient. High completion percentage with few to none interceptions. Ryan became 5-0 as a rookie quarterback in Oakland when he completed 60% of his passes. He has shown to be both deadly accurate as well as unshakable. Note the pass in the final seconds against Chicago that set them up for an unprobable and landmark victory. Today, at home in a must win situation against a bitter division rival, he continued his icy efficiency with a 16 for 23 with 248 yards and another two touchdowns with no mistakes performance. That's a 70% completion rate and a two touchdown victory. Ryan has won six straight professional games when his completion percentage is 60% or above. He was 21-4 at Boston College when his percentage was 60% or above. You can now see despite the fact that he did not have video game numbers or a Heisman trophy what the Falcons Porn King minions saw in him. He was scouted by Dimitroff who learned under the masters at the Evil Empire. Their quarterback? Tom Brady. Hmm.

One must also credit to an offensive line that has given up twleve sacks in nine games. This was supposed to be the weak link in the Falcons chain. They have managed to keep Ryan upright for long enough to fire lasers at his primary targets White and Jenkins. The tandem of Ryan and White have become feared across the league. No one believed that this would be the case before the season started. Now defenses have to deal with the two pronged attack of Turner and Ryan. That is more than three quarters of the teams in the league can say. All in all I have become a fan. A fan of Matt Ryan. I believe that he has the goods. I believe that he will be a winner and that's all I can ask for. Oh, except for the fan club I want to join.

It's Time For A New Path

I have been in a blue funk for the last several days. People can't stand being near me. I am not sure what has set me off on this blue spiral. I am sure it is stress, but I am wondering if it is some other issue. I am not in the mood for joking and being sarcastic. I am more bitter than usual, which takes my ranting from a humorous level to simply dark. Frankly, I am more angry than usual. I am wondering if I am walking the wrong path. I am wondering if where I am now in my life is where I need to be or want to be. I am pulled in enough directions as it is and I am tired of the burns.

In the fall of 1992, I voted in my first Presidential election. At the time I was looking for a change in the country. I found the current White House occupant at the time to be desperately out of touch with the people and even reality itself. He had dug himself into so many holes with the economy that nobody believed what he saying. Even his grandmother...er...wife did not believe anything that was going on.

Personally, my life at that time was changing drastically. I was at Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond, Virginia in my senior year as an undergraduate. I was a psychology major and I was beginning to weigh my graduate school options. I was running out of money faster than Paris Hilton and needed to figure out a decent plan to get through graduate school in the quickest amount of time so that I can reach my goal. My goal was to become a psychotherapist. More specifically, for children. In high school, my first love was a young woman who was intensely beautiful and deeply depressed and self-destructive. At the time, I became curious as to why a young woman who was both beautiful and young would be so depressed to the point that ending her life seemed like a reasonable option. I also became determined to obtain the knowledge to help her and others like her. Hence, instead of teaching I went into psychology with the goal of being a "counselor". It was a fateful decision. I went on to VCU and did very well...at least with the academics. I spent the years with my first love trying to keep her literally off the ledge. Her penchant for complete self-destruction was daunting for me as I had little knowledge of what to do to help. It became impossible. In order to save myself, I decided that I would split with my first love. This proved to be traumatic for both me and her. In the late summer of 1992, the first love of my life was dead. On the night of August 14th, 1992 she took a combination of sleeping pills and OTC pain medication. On August 21st, the decision was made to let her go. At the time, I had no idea what was happening. I was in San Francisco and no one from her family had bothered to contact me because they had blamed me for her self-destruction. By the time I had heard what had occurred all the funerals had been completed. One funeral for her adopted family.  The second funeral for everyone else.  Her adopted family had mourned in private and eventually shut all the windows and doors to their daughter's life. And I was alone. I was alone to deal with all the guilt, trauma, devastation, and sadness. I have been dealing with her ghost ever since. It is her ghost that has driven my career. It has been her ghost that I have chased. It is her ghost that is burned into everything that I have done professionally.

In the fall of 1992, Bill Clinton won the White House as a telegenic handsome and smooth talking orator who preached the need for change. I was deeply moved to see the country change in a hopeful direction. It was a fantastic moment.

Sixteen years later, I am dealing with a ghost and chasing my own demons around the block. There have been days where I believe that the ghost is gone. Other days the ghost rides with me in the car the sixty miles up to work every day. I am not sure I even know what I am doing at work anymore. I have totally lost touch with who I am and why I am even there. When I look into the mirror I am not sure who is looking back. One day my confidence is high and the next it is rock bottom. One day I may feel that I have succeeded and the next day I am burned in effigy and I am the one holding the match.  Right now, I am in need of a change.  What that change will exactly entail I am not sure.  I do not expect that I will be at the same place of employment in the near future.  It is time for me to step backwards into the woods and gain the perspective that I need to move forward and beyond the chasing of ghosts and my own need to self-destruct.  This has been a long time coming.  I have traveled this road that has been narrow with the abyss on one side and salvation on the other.  I trust the abyss, but not the salvation.  It is the abyss that I have seen many fall into.  It is the abyss that I have looked over and danced with it's guardian angel.  It is the smoke of the abyss that is both intoxicating and noxious.  It is now at this time that I seek to find the perspective that I need that has been surely lost.  It is time to make a change.  It is time to step back in order to step forward.  The ghost of a lost love who has passed on will still live.  She may be a mile a way, a thousand, or a few feet.  She will be there.  She gives me the direction and the drive.  It is the ghost that also leads me to the abyss and the temptation that lies beneath the smoke, clouds, and mirrors.  In the end, it is time for me to change into what I will be.  However, the current question is whether or not who I am now is who I will be once all the dust clears.  It is time for a new path.

As we look at our country, it is sorely in need of a dramatic change as well.  On Tuesday, the country spoke loudly that we ourselves have stepped backwards into the woods and saw clearly the abyss that America is falling head-long into.  We have found someone who has instilled hope and vision for a better future.  A change from the disastrous path that our current administration has taken us.  Our way life now threatened by those outside our country who now hate us more so than ever before and by the enormous unchecked greed of corporate institutions that chased the dollar down the rabbit hole and took everyone down with them.  This country needs a major overhaul.  This country needs a new perspective.  Sixteen years after the country, dizzy as it was, picked a telegenic orator of change, we have picked another who has inspired many and has given many hope for a better path.  Last Tuesday I was also moved to tears.  Not because our country elected it's first African-American President, but because the country took one step into the woods, looked at itself in the mirror, and decided to forever change it's course once again...to a brighter hopeful future.

Alas, my pro picks.  

Mick's luck ran out last weekend when he went 2-3.  Dippy lost his mind apparently and went 1-4.  I went 4-1 so they are both out this weekend.  So far for the season on all NFL picks I am standing at 48%.  This is in the 4th percentile of all players on wagerline.com.  I am doing great!

Without the humor on this sobering post:

I am taking New England (-3.5) over Buffalo, Arizona (-9.5) over San Francisco, Green Bay (+2.5) over Minnesota, Carolina (-10) over Oakland, and Atlanta (-1) over New Orleans.

Yes, You Can Bet On The Election!!!

As I said in the last post, the election is over. At least the Presidential election is over. After 30 years of primaries, conventions, debates, and disturbing ads we are at the eve of another Presidential election. Most people I have talked to who know a lot more than me about politics suggested to me that the turn-out rate will be around 80%, which will cause absolute chaos tomorrow. This chaos will result in not knowing much of anything solid until 2 a.m. Eastern time. There will be long lines and there will be people crying foul because people will still be in line in some states as the polls close. Most states have refused requests to change the time polling ends. This will be a significant factor if things get close in key states and they will. However, in the end the election is over. I expect that Obama will win tomorrow in the end. I gave my endorsement of him in my last post and I am not budging from that position. One thing that is not over regarding this election is the betting.

Leave it to me as a degenerate gambler to try to get my gamble on with the results of this election. Right now, the odds of victory stand 1-7 for Obama and 4-1 for McCain. This means that anyone betting on Obama using those odds will not win any money because he is such a huge favorite. Best to bet straight up if you can find anyone silly enough to bet against Obama. No where have I found an electoral vote spread for the election. Based on the polls in every state, the electoral college spread should be 169 votes in favor of Obama. So with this in mind and the fact that there are six states that are considered toss-ups I will handicap tomorrow's election results.

Obama (-169) vs. McCain

This is the spread for the electoral college votes in the end. This spread was based on the poll numbers for each state. However, there are so many possible factors that could cause the voting in specific states to swing one way or the other. Obama needs 270 to win. I believe he will get 311, which will result in a spread of 125. I do not think that Obama will win all the states that he is favored to win and also think that many of the toss up states will go to McCain. Obama will get enough to win, but he's not going to cover.


Florida

The big toss-up state that is leaning currently towards Obama. A high voter turn-out in this state especially with Latino voters (many of which will be first time voters) will cause this bitter contest to eventually in Obama's corner.


Georgia

I would be shocked if Obama won Georgia for obvious reasons that I really do not want to get into. If he does win it will show that the state of Georgia has permanently changed politically as a result of the millions of transplants from the Northeast and the West crowding into Atlanta's suburbs. It won't happen this time. McCain will take this state in wider margin than expected.


North Carolina

Read the Georgia entry. Same thing applies to North Carolina. McCain is leading in the polls in NC and he will win comfortably. Also, if you all in NC elect McCrory as your governor then you get the rain of locusts that you deserve for doing it. He was bad for Charlotte and he will be bad for everyone else. Don't say I did not warn you.


Indiana

As a state bordering Obama's I thought that this state should be leaning towards Obama, however it is leaning towards McCain. McCain has strong support on the ground in Indiana and I expect that he will win as a result.


Missouri

The urban and suburban centers of Kansas City and St. Louis plus higher voter turn-out than expected will result in an easier than expected win for Obama.


North Dakota

If this state falls to McCain then there should be an immediate resolution to send this state to Canada. This state is leaning towards Obama and it will stay true to form.


Montana

Does anyone really think that Obama has a chance in this state? The fact that this is a toss-up shows how well his campaign has done. In the end, this states meager 3 votes will not matter much especially after Obama gets California, Washington, and Oregon later in the night.

My Presidential Endorsement And Mick's Picks

Mick the Cat did better than me in making pro football picks last weekend so he is back to make more picks. He has gotten pretty cocky now and is walking through the house with mass amounts of bling stating he had gotten it all from his "winnings" in Vegas. And the damn cat has never been to Vegas. Insane.

Dippy is out of jail now on some sort of technicality. Apparently he got a ton of evidence thrown out of court as it was gotten illegally. Something about not having a search warrant or something. Chain of custody issues. Whatever. He wants to make some picks on pro football for this weekend, but is not sure he should make too many comments about his state of affairs or any state of affairs. Dippy has had more legal charges than anyone in a pirate bear costume should have. He is the only one who celebrates Halloween everyday...or maybe not.

Then we have the magic that is Mike Singletary. Days after the greatest head coach debut news presser ever in the history of organized sports we find out that 49ers head coach Singletary is basically insane. We find out that during half time of his very first NFL head coaching game he dropped his pants and mooned his own team. Why? To illustrate how the Seahawks were kicking their asses. How did the 49ers play after Singletary literally showed his ass? They played worse. On the list of things not to do as a football head coach at any level (except the CFL) is to show your ass literally to your own team. That ranks on the list around with setting yourself on fire, getting arrested for DUI's, killing your pregnant girlfriend, and selling porn. You just don't. Just don't do it. Take off your pants in your own house. Not in the locker room in front of your players. Not in your car. Not outside in a park. In your own home. At this rate of sanity decline, Singletary will not make it past this season which would be very unfortuneate because he is quite entertaining.

Let me just say that the Presidential election is over. Unless something crazy happens such as Obama being caught on tape with a crack pipe or running from reporters at a hotel where his mistress is hiding their love child then Obama will win the election. There will be some nervous moments until the polls in California close, but it's over. The result of this election really has as much to do with the state of affairs in the country than the candidates themselves. I am reminded of 1992 when Asterisk Sr. was running for re-election during an economic downturn and appeared totally out of touch and a dynamic, younger, image conscious Bill Clinton used the third party candidate and a wave of change talk to win the White House fairly easily.  Times are darker now.  The economy is in a deflation (which is worse than inflation by the way) and is on the verge of a deep depression (not a recession which we are already in, but a depression).  Our military is stretched thinner than Tom Brady's condoms fighting a war that it should have never fought while struggling to keep any gains from the war we should have fought.  At this point, Russia is in better shape than we are.  In 1992, a vote for Asterisk Sr. was a vote for more of the same failing policies that were in place under Reagan and his hand maiden.  Now, a vote for McCain is a vote for more of the last eight years of Captain Asterisk's mad cowboy vision of America that has led us down the rabbit hole into oblivion.  It is also a vote for lowest common denominator of arrogance and ignorance.  This is personified by the GOP Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin who is as appealing as Rosanne Barr singing the national anthem and just as ugly.  Palin represents everything that is wrong with the GOP.  She is trite, out of touch, out of ideas, blind, fraudulent, and boorish.  Though I am not a huge fan of Oprah Obama he does represent at least a different direction...a refreshing change.  He appears to be in touch with what is actually happening at the ground level.  He appears to have a vision.  He appears to have empathy for people.  He appears to be calm and thoughtful under fire.  He has a connection to people and strives for it.  His ideas and policies make more sense in this trying time.  He presents an energy towards going forward as opposed to going sideways.  He's brighter, more energetic, more intelligent, and more in touch with reality.  Sure, he is not that experienced.  I have to ask though.  Do we really need experience?  What has experience gotten us?  Don't we need someone who may have some level of objectivity?  As you can guess I am endorsing Oprah Obama.  This is without any reservations or hesitations.  His election will be a world changing event.  In a flat world, this would cause it to flip...just like Hammer's house.

Now your pro football picks:

Houston at Minnesota (-4.5)

Why am I picking this game?  Well, I have a soft spot for Minnesota.  The Vikings have not met expectations this year so far.  It is not too late for them, but when you have Gus as your quarterback I do not know how far you're going to go.  I honestly don't know anything about Houston.  Do they still have a team?  Does anyone watch their games?  Are they still the Oilers?

Take the Vikings.

Dippy:  My gerbil is smarter than any fox I know.  Matter of fact your cat is smarter than any fox I know.  Take Houston.

Mick:  Houston.

Pittsburgh at Washington (-1)

I really like what is happening in Washington.  I hope that it is sustainable.  Has Campbell thrown an interception yet?  They escaped being beaten by a no-loss team in Detroit.  Not sure exactly what your are going to get from this team.  Their games against Cleveland and Detroit were not real convincing.  However, they are 6-2.  A win is a win.  Pittsburgh presents a big test for this team.  It's a test that I don't think they will pass.  Take the Steelers.

Dippy:  Did you notice that as we are writing this stupid entry that your Bulldogs are being killed.  I mean prison raped by Florida right now.  Georgia is the most over-rated team that I ever seen.  They are more over-rated than Spam.  More over-rated than Madonna.  More over-rated than any movie that Richard Gere has been in since 1992.  Take Washington.

Mick:  Washington.

Dallas at NY Giants (-9.5)

The Cowboys are like the Raiders except with more talent.  More talent means that you should win more games.  More talent with a coach who is a marshmallow means unmet expectations.  TO will be doing sit-ups in his drive way by December 1st and this will be his last season in Dallas.  He'll be playing for Atlanta next year.  The point spread for this game is too high.  I think that Dallas will keep it close and eventually lose.  I know how good the Giants are, but they are also over-rated.

Dippy:  Fox, did you ever consider visiting me in jail?  You didn't.  You did not show up.  You were too busy.  You were too busy chasing women and money around.  Too busy making stupid bets on-line.  How much are you down by now?  The Giants are great.  Eli Manning is playing better than his brother.   Coach Tom's head hasn't melted off yet.  Take the Giants.

Mick:  Giants.

Detroit at Chicago (-12.5)

I am pulling for Detroit.  Not to win.  No.  Not at all.  I want them to complete the perfect season.  I want them to lose all 16 games.  I think they can do it.  Sadly, I think they'll actually win their last game of the year against a team that has nothing to play for and will be playing JV high school players.  Nonetheless, I want the impossible dream to happen.  I was broken hearted when Miami somehow beat Baltimore for a win.  I hope to not be so disappointed this time around.  The point spread for this game is also too high.  Detroit has been playing people tough.  I don't think the Bears will cover.  Take the Lions.

Mick:  The Lions.  Of course.

Dippy:  Only a loser would pull for another team to go 0-16.  Take the Bears.  

Atlanta at Oakland (+3)

Beat the teams that are not as good as you and play well against the teams that are better than you.  That is exactly how it has played out for Atlanta.  They have lost to three teams that are way better than they are.  The Falcons have beaten teams that are much worse than them.  The Raiders?  I think that they are in the category of teams that the Falcons should beat.  Take Atlanta.  Take that #47!!!

Dippy:  The Raiders are better than the Falcons.  No, just kidding.  The Florida Gators are.  At least we can say that the Gators are a ton better than the over-rated Bulldog team that have killed today.  I love it.  I love watching your team get slaughtered and burned.  The Falcons will make it perfect weekend for Georgia football by going to Oakland and watch DeAngelo Hall score a pick six off of Ryan.  Take the Raiders.  Is there a pool on the Crypt Keepers death?

Mick:  Raiders.