Sad day for Miami

I was sitting in my house, watching the ticker. The ticker on the bottom of the screen that states the scores, the fantasy numbers, and how much time is left. My cat was trying to eat my Christmas tree. My thoughts were on the Ravens. Not the birds in my yard. Not Poe. The Baltimore Ravens. I was worried. My dream of the Miami Dolphins going 0-16 was at risk. The Ravens on a losing streak of their own. Kyle Boller at quarterback, which is always cause for concern. Always. The only fantasy team that I have in a prize league about to choke away the playoffs in the last moment because Jessica had to show up at the game with a Romo jersey like it was eleventh grade, or fourth, or whatever. I saw that the Ravens were once ahead by ten. Great. Then the dream died slowly. The genius that is Billick decides to go for the tie. From the one inch line. OK. I can live with that. They get the ball in OT. They get down field and with all of Cuba knowing that they are going to run the ball they get nowhere. OK. So they send Stover out. He's pretty good. After he is iced he hooks it. Now at this point I knew it was over. I had to go to Wal-Mart to get wrapping paper and cat litter. God, my life is boring. I knew it was over. The dream of the greatest season ever was dying. The dream. 0-16. 0-16. I had dreamed it like Keith Richards dreams of a cocaine mixer. It was going away. So I get in the car to crank out the satellite radio to listen to the game. I turn the key. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am screaming in my car as I hear the Dolphins broadcasters screaming as if they won the Super Bowl announce they had scored a game winning touchdown and the score: The final. 22-16 Dolphins. At this point, I was thinking about getting the "special cat litter" from the guy on the corner next to my Wal-Mart . You know that guy. He is wearing a baseball hat symbolizes that he belongs to maybe the Crips, or the Latin Kings, or something. He's got the "special cat litter." I change my mind since I happen to enjoy living and go into Wal-Mart which in my town is like a scene from Dante's Inferno or the Heart of Darkness. I have to say that Brian Billick gave us all a huge lesson in life. That lesson in life is: Never, ever, ever, ever in life go for the tie when a victory is certain.

I was thinking though how sad it must be that the Dolphins won. The reason is that now no one will talk about Miami anymore in the present tense. They won a game. One game. That is enough to be ignored. Not bad enough and not good enough to be talked about. The only time we get to hear about Miami is when the Dolphins are compared to the Patriots. This leads me to another thought. I really wish that someone associated with their fabled 1972 team would actually say something important, something daring, something that makes us gasp and then stick to it. If it were me I would say: "The Patriots are cheaters. Coach Hoodie is a jerk. Randy smokes tree. Tom is a gerbil on a wheel of child support and I hope he gets run over by a bus tomorrow and I am sticking to this story." Coach Nutri-System had his chance. He made a statement and then recanted. Again, never ever ever go for a tie in life when victory is certain. Ever.


Above you see the skyline of the city that I call "home." A city that I do not live in anymore. But a city that hold my heart as I lived there for close to ten years which is twice as long as I lived anywhere else. The city is Richmond, Virginia if you can't tell. No L.A. or Cleveland.