Tell Me How My Ass Tastes!!!!

I have got so many possible subjects that I am going to bounce all over the place so buckle your seat belts.

**Apparently there was a rescue of 15 hostages out of Columbia (the country, not the cesspool of a city in South Carolina) completed by Columbian intelligence officers. The hostage takers apparently thought it was a great idea to rent a private helicopter company to haul the hostages from one place to another. When the helicopter arrived it was manned by intelligence officers posing as helicopter pilots. They picked up the hostages and simply flew away. Of course, the US intelligence agencies are trying to take credit for the operation that the Coumbians and only the Columbians could have pulled off. Typical for the President Asterisk reign of terror. On a sad note, FARC missed an opprotunity to get another hostage--John McCain, who also was in Columbia today.

**I have gotta say this: "Dippy. Tell me how my ass tastes. Dippy. Tell me how my ass tastes."

**Am I off base in thinking that Shaq's opening of his free-style rap on Kobe sounded really gay?
How does my ass taste? How does that conversation go? Is this something that is asked in a typical free-style rap? I must have missed something in the whole Kobe-Shaq marriage and divorce saga. Only in a marriage and divorce saga would there be any place for a "How does my ass taste?" blast. In fact, I did something similar to this during my last break-up saga. And I have had many.

**"Dippy. Tell me how my ass tastes. Dippy. Tell me how my ass tastes."

**The latest Dippy the Pirate Bear update is that he is in the hospital in Virginia Beach due to MRSA, exhaustion, cat nip overdose, malaria or shingles. I am not sure which one it is. Either way it is pretty bad. They have had to hide all the sharp objects out of his hospital room yesterday after he heard that Elton Brand was possibly going to leave the Clippers and end up at Golden State. I told him he was being overly dramatic as he should have been more upset by Baron Davis coming to the Clippers from Golden State. Dippy has been training his "Resistance Puppy" named Phillip how to sniff for drugs. I don't think this is for law enforcement purposes.

**I am watching the Rays-Red Sox game on ESPN and I am hoping for another brawl so I can watch Coco Crisp do his Matrix impression ducking from a wild punch by a Rays player who is swinging like a middle school girl in a lunch room fight. I also saw Dick Vitale in the stands being interviewed by Erin Andrews. My close friend stated that Vitale looks more like Montgomery Burns from the Simpsons. He's right on target. This series also comes off the heels of the latest "Manny being Manny" fiasco where he shoved the team travel secretary because he voiced not being able to get Manny 50000 tickets for the game in Houston. I am tired of hearing about Manny Ramirez just being "Manny." So that excuses all of this outrageous behavior? What if T.O. did this? What if it was Randy Moss? What if it was Tom Brady (I wish)? I have always gotten the impression that the whole "Manny being Manny" blast was actually a racially driven insult implying that Ramirez's actions and Hispanic dialect make him appear to be less intelligent. That is why I have no real tolerance for that statement being uttered everytime Manny Ramirez does something outrageous or inappropriate or just like every other spoiled professional athlete.

**I was watching the latest evening news, which these days should lead people to be placed on some sort of suicide precautions because of how horrible it is, and heard about the latest Chinese fiasco. I watched in horror as children, young girls, women, men with grocery carts were all trying to pull massive sticky green algae out of the sea. The very sea that is supposed to be hosting sailing events in the Olympics next month. News reports show this algae infestation now covers 1/3 of the sea that the competition is supposed to be held on. I found it humorous watching people try to scoop this stuff off the sea surface and cart it off in grocery carts. I watched as little children were trying to get it up using their bare hands. Something tells me that this is going to take awhile. This is just another reason why the Olympics should be boycotted. This ranks right up there with all the other good reasons: Tibet. Pollution. Human Rights violations. Nuclear proliferation. Imbalanced trading practices. Running over people with tanks. Driving up energy prices. Jackie Chan. Yao Ming. Now it's the green algae that people are referring to as "the blob" or "the fairway." It's not too late. We haven't gotten on the plane to China yet. It's time to call it off. Let's hold an alternate Olympics--in Columbia.

**The new mental health commitment laws have now been enacted in Virginia. One interesting (and expected) development is that the pre-admission screening forms that CSB pre-screeners are required to use when evaluating a patient is now eight pages long. Two days ago it was five. I can not wait to fill out one of those puppies at four in the morning. The commitment criteria for hospitalization has been loosened. This will likely cause more involuntary admissions when there are no more inpatient beds available to put people in. This will tie up emergency rooms with psychiatric patients in limbo for longer periods of time. I have to ask. If it was a medically comprimised patient as opposed to psychiatrically comprimised, would they be "in limbo" tying up ER's for hours and even days waiting for beds? The mandatory outpatient laws are set up to tie up the court system in such an convulted manner that eventually there will not be any orders for outaptient treatment anyways. Then there is the murky concept in the mandatory outpatient treatment laws about patients "voluntarily" seeking mandatory outpatient commitment. How does that work? How does this sponsor true recovery and patient choice? I don't know of many people choosing to be committed. Does anyone choose going to prison? The only people who choose to go to prison are those not wanting the death penalty. Not much of a "choice." I don't believe that anyone truly can choose to be forced into treatment. This is not recovery. This is punitive.

**Dippy. Tell me how my ass tastes. Dippy. Tell me how my ass tastes.

**The team formerly known as the Seattle SuperSonics will be leaving the former cofee and flannel capital of the world for Oklahoma City. The team's owners are willing to pay out $45 million and the team name and colors just to get out of Seattle. This has got to be the biggest middle finger to Seattle. The fact that a team's ownership group is willing to ditch the team's past, name, colors, and $45 million just to get out---NOW--is an ugly scene. I know that people in Seattle are disappointed. I went through this in Charlotte, North Carolina when George Shinn (who looks like a cross dressing child sex predator) held the city for ransom for a publicly funded arena and the left for New Orleans when he didn't get what he wanted (only for him to do the same thing to the city of New Orleans a year after Katrina). Trust me when I say this, Seattle. You are all better off. Believe me. You will get another team. They will be called the Sonics. They will be an expansion team for several years, but maybe you'll get an ownership group that cares about you and winning just as much as making money. Well....on that note, don't hold your breath. You're still better off even without a team then dealing with the crooks that are leaving in moving trucks only to be shunned by Oklahoma City in a few years when they get bored of losing to the Nuggets and Timberwolves all the time.

**Seattle. Tell me how my ass tastes. Seattle. Tell me how my ass tastes.