Tom Brady Isn't Me And Your Zito-Jones Update

It has been awhile since I posted an update on our favorite (or at least my favorite) overpaid baseball players. I have been flirting with another sports city and have been caught leaving their apartment late at night. Just like A-Rod!! It is true and not a rumor that I have been re-kindling an old old flame of sports cities: Boston. Yes, Boston. When I was three years old (I think) I moved to the Boston area and slowly became influenced by osmosis into the Boston sports melodrama of futility. This was 1974 when I moved there and then left somewhere in 1978 to Atlanta. I became familiar with the Celtics (in a major downturn in fortunes soon to be changed by Larry Bird and his mullet), the Bruins (everybody played street and ice hockey, including me, and dreamed of being Bobby Orr), the Red Sox (winner of the prize of pulling defeat out of victory over and over...just like Atlanta!!), and the Patriots (only slightly better than the Falcons of today). Except now, the owners of the Boston sports franchises actually are trying to win. The owners of the Atlanta sports teams have done their best to live in a world where it is OK to be no better than .500, run the team into the ground, fight amongst themselves in court, and treat fans like me for granted. The fact that I lived in Boston for a significant part of childhood, the fact that the owners care about winning, and the most recent success of the Boston sports teams have made this sports city the solid "10" in the bar full of "6's." I have to admit and I know that you all will call me a bandwagon jumper that I have pulled for the Boston teams all my life. In 1986, I owned a busted Red Sox cap trying to will the Red Sox to win Game 6 only to see what my sports life would turn into when Buckner lost a little rolling white ball in a field of green and brown. I was actually pulling for the Celtics during their run of titles in the early 80's. I loved the Boston Garden. I pulled for the Bruins during their bitter series against the Canadians every play-off year. I even (as tears roll down my face in shame) wanted the Patriots and (OMG) Tom Brady to win their first Super Bowl against the Rams. When the Red Sox won the World Series in 2004 I could barely watch fearing that some sort of crazy event would occur that would cause them to lose yet again. When they finally won I was relieved. I have discovered that my disdain for Boston sports came out of a primitive defense mechanism that is used by grade school boys who will push girls they actually like into a mud puddle as a way to cope with the fact that they like the girl. For me, it was awe and envy. I hated Tom Brady because he wasn't me. I hated him because I was not him. I didn't have a hot model girlfriend who goes by one name to sleep with (I did back around let's say, 1991...and I have been chasing the hot young model ever since...see 1997, 1999, 2001, and 2007). Tom Brady is the coolest guy in the room. He is what everyone would want to be and 99.9999% of us will never ever get there. So no wonder there is a love-hate thing going. I have always disliked franchises that I had the most respect for (see the 49ers in the 80's and 90's). I still don't like Coach Hoodie. Why? Because he is a cheat and he has the personality of a snapping turtle. However, I have been lured by the distant past of my childhood where futility was woven into the fabric of both my personal and sporting life. At the time, I just didn't know it. By the way, the first baseball card I ever owned? Carl Yastrzemski.

Of course, if I even start actively pulling for any team in Boston they'll start losing...just like in Atlanta. Forgive me.

Now your stinking update:

ANDRUW JONES:

Andruw went on the DL for quite awhile due to a bum knee (and also a bum swing, but that was not mentioned in the official record). He came back over the weekend in San Francisco an went 1 for 10 with 1 RBI and 5 strike outs. Back to where he left off!!!

AVG.: .161 HR: 2 RBI: 8 OBP: .262 SLG: .259

How often is one's slugging percentage lower than their OBP?

BARRY ZITO (ZITI):

Barry has actually won two out of his last three games and his drive towards 30 losses seems to have lost steam. However, there is always 20 losses. His best game of the year was yesterday at home against the Dodgers (who are simply awful offensively). Nonetheless, he pitched seven strong innings giving up two earned runs and striking out 10. I watched parts of this game and I noticed for the first time that his mechanics and mental game were both sharper. He may turn this dumpster fire of a season around after all. I hope so because the ace of the Giants is a 24 year old kid who looks like he is 14, wears a wool hat in 90 degree weather, weighs about 174 pounds, and throws a 98 MPH fastball with a lot of movement.

W-L: 4-12 ERA: 5.73 SO: 60 WHIP: 1.78

Zito Wins!!! Zito Wins!!!

Finally, Zito Wins!!! The most expensive pitching victory ever...clocking in at around 14.8 million dollars. Break out the well aged swiss. More on Zito later.

As the Memorial Day holiday comes to a close and the summer season of discontent begins, I am feeling relaxed as I have had a decent weekend for a change. I have relaxed for three full days, caught some sun, drank beer, and read a rather outstanding new book by a new writer. I will write more about this in a future post. However, the title of the book is Child 44 (hit the link to go to the Barnes and Noble site). Trust me that this is the best novel I have read in several years. You have heard of books that are "page turners"? This is one of them.

The DefCon level in the Fox household has continued to go down. It is now at a DefCon 4. This is the best level that it has been at for several months. I am not sure what to make of it. All of the superpowers (and wanna-be superpowers) are getting along as well as could be expected. The Russian embassy was open for visitors over the weekend. There has been no talk of spies, pandas, giant spiders, nuclear weapons, or any dissolution of treaties. Kim Jong Il is a bit calmer these days. (S)he actually asked for my opinion on something worthwhile. As per my new style, I spoke the truth with very little held back. This tactic works better for me. It is a lot better that people around me know exactly where I stand and where they stand as well. I owe a lot of this to new found mental and physical energy that I have not had in years. My mental faculties are no longer "mush." I am now the sharpest I have ever been. This, of course, means that any one that I write about in this blog had better watch out because I'm coming and nothing is going to stop me. Not even a pregnant (maybe?) bichon frise dog.

I have also managed to lose 35 pounds in the last four months. I have even switched to "light" beer. That is like switching from DIY blunts to filtered cigarettes for me. Good times. Really. I had to go to a smaller pant size because my originals were falling off. OK, everyone stop being jealous. It is perfectly possible to be a complete train wreck and lose 35 pounds. It's called doing meth.

I am hoping not to catch too much grief on my last post regarding Whitewater Hillary's South Dakota RFK assassination reference. I really believe that I am openly speaking the truth about a dark fear that many people close to the campaigns have. That is, that there are forces at work who absolutely do not want either Obama or Hillary to be President and not because they are necessarily Republican. It's because they do not want America to be run by a black man or a white woman. Period. I refuse to believe that their campaigns have not gotten some sort of notice that there are possible security and safety threats out there beyond the typical "I want to knock off a President" killer. P.S. to the Secret Service---I did not reference that I wanted to knock off anyone. Thanks. I will expect your customary letter.

People have written me recently asking about what I have been listening to recently. I am happy to say that I will be devoting a whole segment on this soon. I have found some interesting music in the last few months. Check out a band called MGMT. Interesting stuff. Their song "Time to Pretend" is my new anthem.

Now for your update:

ANDRUW JONES

Well, Andruw is now on the 15-day DL for a busted up knee that he has having surgery on tomorrow. I suspect that he will be out of action for several weeks. This means I will need to find another unsuspecting underachieving millionaire baseball player to hassle. Any suggestions?

AVG.: .165 HR: 2 RBI: 7 OBP: .273 SLG: .271

Andruw's replacement in CF you ask?

MATT KEMP

AVG.: .315 HR: 3 RBI: 28 OBP: .361 SLG: .458

Salary? $406,000.

BARRY ZITO

Two worlds collided this past week. Not the Lohan-Spears feud that could lead to both families to check into adjoining rooms at the next Surreal World house. Wouldn't that be something if VH1 could pull that off? That would be great. On one side of house would be the Lohan family and the other side the Spears family. The prize for the family that stays in the house the longest is a years supply of Lithium and cocaine. No, the two worlds that collided was Barry Zito and the Florida Marlins this past week as Barry finally got his first win of the season. It was not a cheap win either. He threw 108 pitches in 6 1/3 innings while giving up only one earned run and three hits.

W-L: 1-8 ERA: 5.65 SO: 27 WHIP: 1.80

On another baseball note, Chipper Jones of the Atlanta Braves is currently batting over .400. I am debating using him as the replacement Jones on this weekly update, but I am afraid that it will just jinx him. Thoughts are welcome.

Barry Zito-Andruw Jones Update, Anne, Crushes, And Ethical Considerations

I really hesitated on adding a new post this evening that could knock down the see-through top pic of Anne Hathaway from the first thing one sees on this blog. I hope the pic I selected will at least soften the blow...though I don't imagine it will. People have asked me if I will ever fully divulge my crush on this blog. I am hoping that I can without being tasered or assassinated. No. I am really kidding. As I think about it this is more than a simple crush. A crush implies that it is some teen-age high school lust/love sensation. How I feel is a little deeper than that. Can't quite describe it, but it's there. One day I may reveal it, but never ever ever on this blog because a blog is definitely not the best place to name names. I mean I do sorta have ethical principals. I know that blogs do not come with any Code of Ethics, but I have to consider the collateral damage that could be caused by putting up the wrong things on my blog. Trust me, knowing me, there would be total collateral damage if I were to name names. The total damage could reach DefCon 1 level "Three Mile Island Chilli" destruction. I can't drop to that level of ethical bankruptcy in all fairness. I will let you all guess on who or what. I may drop hints, but I'll never pull off the mask in this forum. I deeply respect and care about the other person way too much to cause the collateral damage that would be created. Not here. Not ever.

Anyways, you are due for a Zito-Jones update:

ANDRUW JONES

Andruw Jones went on a small tear at the start of last week which got his average up into the .180's-barely. Then Andruw realized that he was still Andruw and went on a 0 for 11 with five strike out weekend. Classic. He did hit a home run over the past week. I did not get to see it, but I am sure the pitch was thrown up to the plate softball style.

AVG.: .167 HR: 2 RBI: 7 OBP: .275

Oh, just for giggles. Let's make a comparison. Mark Kotsay replaced Andruw in Atlanta in center field for a measly $7 million. What are his stats so far in Atlanta? Thank you for asking.

AVG.: .301 HR: 3 RBI: 19 OBP: .354

As long as Kotsay does not pull his usual injury of the month later on this season that will lead him on the DL for six weeks he will be worth more for Atlanta than Andruw is worth to the Dodgers. Jones is lucky that his manager, Joe Torre, has a lengthy history of working through slumps as opposed to setting someone down no matter how bad it gets.

BARRY ZITO:

Barry made two starts this past week. He lost one of them, gave up 5 earned runs in 11 innings (which actually is better than he was doing prior to going to the pen). His WHIP in his two starts (2.00) and opponents batting average (.366) continue to tell the tale. He is still on pace for going 0-30.

W-L: 0-8 ERA: 6.25 SO: 22 WHIP: 1.90

Honesty, House, Dippy, And Zito-Jones Update

I have heard from a lot of people on both sides of the fence in the last few days regarding my recent posts that have resembled part confessional, part therapeutic, part trash, and part insane. Like Manhunter or House, M.D. insane. I had someone exclaim to me that "they have therapists for that" in regards to my recent blogs. It is clear that an outsider (or even an insider) would look at these recent blog entries and state clearly that I am turning into a complete train wreck or a dumpster fire. In my own defense, I have decided back on New Year's that I would become more brutally honest and not back down from controversy. It took me several months and a medical crisis later, but I have reached that goal. I'm not perfect. I get the urge to avoid rocking the boat greater than a heroin addict craves the needle (or Dippy the Pirate Bear craves water...more on this later). I slip and try to avoid the chaos in the moment by doing things only to put it off later. Though I am progressing through this major lifestyle change it comes off as being off center for me. Though I imagine that most people would find using this forum to use as a confessional regarding my derailing personal life a bit over the top. However, I am delivering what I am promised...brutal and uncensored honesty.

Speaking of House, MD, which is one of the very few shows that I will actually watch on TV with great interest. I admit like many people I am a huge fan of the show. I'll also admit that I wish I was more like House. As I think about it, I imagine that many people would also love to have the filters removed from their brain that keeps them for saying what they really mean. I certainly would. On House, it's pure drama (though the penchant for having someone code right at the fifteen minute mark is waaaayyyy too predictable) and I am fascinated by puzzles and complex character studies. Yes, I am a moron. Or am I?
Tonight's episode probably was one of the best episodes that I have seen this season and definitely set the stage for a cliffhanger of the end of the season. I have to say that people like particular shows that feature people who they wish they could be or remind them of themselves. A character that fits this profile for me is the Gil Grissom character on CSI. I'll let you all mull on that for awhile. Those of you who truly know me will make the connection easily (if they are familiar with CSI, that is.)

One of the most memorable imprints of the blur that was the Virginia Beach conference was a door at the elevator on the first floor of the hotel we stayed in. The door led to the beach access at the back of the hotel and it featured an advertisement for "Dippy the Pirate Bear." This led me to go in all sorts of directions. So I imagine that this is a mascot for the hotel and the kids staying on the beach. I also imagined a strung out emo guy from the local high school in a pirate bear outfit in 100 degree weather on the beach entertaining the kids. This image seemed so ridiculous and is bound to cause the following exchanges between the kids and their parents:

Kid: Mommy, Dippy just fell and he's not breathing. What's wrong?

Kid: Daddy, Dippy is stumbling around and asking for water. He's scaring me.

Kid: Mom, why is Dippy whipping out his wee-wee?

Kid: Mommy, why is Dippy smell like Daddy's juice?

Kid: Daddy, why is Dippy floating on a surfboard? What's wrong???

Kid: Daddy, why is Dippy on fire???

This has to be one of the worst jobs ever.


Now for your favorite Zito-Jones update:

BARRY ZITO:

Barry took a little break from his harsh duties getting lit up as a starting pitcher in San Francisco and making $14 million a year. He rested in the bullpen for over a week a got no game action. He went back into the starting rotation (mainly because the Giants needed a warm body) on 5/7 in Pittsburgh and gave up only two earned runs in five innings. He managed to strike out five batters. But, let's not forget that he was pitching against the Pirates. I am hoping that the Giants keep trotting him out there as he is on pace to go 0-30.

W-L: 0-7 ERA: 6.95 SO: 16 WHIP: 1.87

ANDRUW JONES

Andruw went an improved 3 for 14 this week. That is a stellar Ted Williams-like .214 clip. Again, no homers. One big RBI. Torre continues to roll him out there even though he is jumping over the plate like someone jumping on a grenade every time a Class A pitcher throws a curve ball.

AVG.: .170 HR: 1 RBI: 5 OBP: .277

Your Zito-Jones Update And A Thought About The Derby

Now your favorite Monday blog entry!!!

Your Barry Zito-Andruw Jones update.  Both make somewhere near $14 million a year and for what?   Both have the most insane contracts in baseball when one looks at what they are paid contrasted with their production.  Zito is a former Cy Young Award winner who had a 94 MPH fastball and a curve ball that rolled off a table.  Jones hit 51 home runs a couple of years ago.  Now?  Zito's fastball is now around 80 MPH and his curveball now resembles a broken flattened comma.  Jones is on pace to strike out twice as many times as getting a hit.  

Well worth the money.  Sad that any fan paying for a ticket, buying merchandise, and watching the Extra Innings packages are paying for it.  But, hey don't worry we are all paying for a war that was supposed to have won five years ago and $4 million a gallon for gas.

BARRY ZITO:

Barry got "demoted" to the bullpen right after the last post.  He stated in the local media that his problems on the mound were mostly "mental" and that he was not injured.  Either way he is mechanically all over the place.  I don't think that he is injured physically.  I just sense that his brain is not connected to his body and his mechanics are completely haywire (not using his legs for increased velocity).  There has been no change in his numbers since he has not been used for nearly ten days now.

W-L:   0-6           ERA:    7.53             SO:  11             WHIP:  1.95

ANDRUW JONES:

The Dodgers had their eight game winning streak snapped by Colorado on Sunday.  Andruw was a complete non factor going 3 for 16 with no homers and five strike outs.  He got the day off on Thursday and on Sunday, but according to his manager, Joe Torre, he will continue to play regularly in order to get our of his slump.  Andruw's slump is now over a month long and he is on track to strike out 186 times and hit five home runs.  Interesting stat?   Jones has 16 hits and 15 walks as well as 34 strike outs.  I will not rest until he is introduced as a Las Vegas 51 (the Dodgers Triple AAA team) where he will swing at curve balls nine feet off the plate (instead of five feet now) against a Sacramento Bee.  The other question I have is:  If Andruw stops hitting homers what will his hot girlfriend do (see above pic)?   Because everybody knows:  "Chicks dig the loonnng balllll" 

AVG.:   .163           HR:   1              RBI:    4            OBP:    .274

Just a note on the tragedy at the Kentucky Derby on Saturday evening which was incredibly sad and surreal.  On one side we have the unfiltered joy of a victory for the owners, trainers, and jockey for Big Brown after a clearly dominant and decisive race.  As we saw pictures of celebration and joyful interviews in front of TV cameras, Eight Belles was being euthanized right on the track.  Incredibly sad and surreal.  Even more jarring for me is hearing the trainer for Eight Belles, Larry Jones clearly indicate that she "gladly gave her life" to racing.  I need your help with this.  I don't know much of anything about horse racing.  I don't know much about horses period.  So I am not going on a rant about racing being unethical, inhumane, or dangerous.  I don't know enough to make a cogent opinion.  It's just that my immediate reaction to Mr. Jones was to say "WTF!  A horse chose to give her life to racing???   Am I crazy or just naive???"  Please tell me if I am off base.  The other thing that I have found out that the mortality rate on the track of race horses is 1.9 deaths per 1,000 races.  With as many races that go off around the country each day that translates to two deaths a day.  Does this make sense?  Is this acceptable?  Help me.

Monday Fuming

Some people were a little miffed that I compared our twelve year old daughter to the North Korean dictator and party king, Kim Jong Il. I can understand your concerns, however, I will offer a comparison in my unprofessional opinion between the North Korean dancing missile loving ruler and a twelve year old girl:

(1) Both are ego driven and self-absorbed. 12 year old girls are focused primarily only on their wants and needs while excluding everyone else's. Kim Jong Il will allow his country to collectively starve to death as long as he gets his women, money, and internet porn.

(2) Both are irrational in their decision making. 12 year old girls underestimate the danger of decisions and overestimate their ability to manage whether the dangers are. Kim Jong Il will make every decision possible to alienate the international community and cause every other reasonable country to ostracize his country. Kim Jong Il launches "attacks" at anyone and everyone no matter consequences. Twelve year old girls? DefCon 1 when things are going their way.

(3) Both are moody. Kim Jong Il has crazy mood swings that would make Brit Spears blush. One day he will be a happy clown dancing to old ABBA tunes and watching re-runs of ChiPs. The next day he'll randomly execute dissidents in an erratic angry rant. 12 year old girls are hopelessly hormonal and switch emotional gears as drastically as Roger Clemens fall from grace.

(4) Both are dictators. Kim Jong Il dictates to everyone in his country and in the world what he thinks they should do and he thinks he is always right in his command decisions. Twelve year old girls dictate to everyone in their country what she thinks they should do and she thinks she is always right in her command decisions. No matter what happens both believe that you are wrong.

You may not like the comparison, but any parent who has ever had an adolescent daughter would tell you the same thing. If they didn't they would be lying. The good thing about this is that most of the time 12 year old girls grow out of this stage and become reasonable adults. Kim Jong Il? He'll grow up when he's dead.



Time for another relationship rule. Rule #6. Do not at all costs get married (if you even should) out of fear. Another one of my rules of life is to never negotiate out of fear and instead make deals from a point of strength. If you negotiate out of fear then you are signaling that you do not have enough chips available to play the next hand of poker. You have little to deal with and are at risk for losing more then you can gain. From a position of fear, you are likely to jump into a sucker deal just to get the deal done. Then you have remorse after the fact once all the dust settles. If you deal from a position of strength (even only in perception) then you don't need the deal at all to survive. You have more than enough to deal with. You are in position to gain more than you lose. You are likely to take the best deal because it there are always more than one possible deals. Same in marriage. I am of the opinion that marriage for many people is a pointless legal, medieval, and economic trap. However, if you choose to marry then don't do it because you fear that (a) you can't get anyone else better; (b) you'll never have children; (c) there are no other living options; (d) you will disappoint your family if you don't; or (e) you will lose money, status, or prestige. If you get hitched out fear of any of the above you are a 100 times more likely to end up in any one or many of the above named situations anyways. If you get hitched out of fear then you are more likely to get into a sucker relationship that you will be miserable dealing with. If you get hitched out of fear the other partner will always have the lead in the power differential in the relationship. If you get married out of fear then you don't have enough chips on the table and eventually your spouse will know that and leave you for someone else who does. Trust me. In the end, it's never worth it.



Speaking of Clemens. Roger Clemens linked with country star Mindy McCready? What??? Rocket Roger hooking up with Mindy when she was 15 and he was something like 28? What??? How much more sick and disturbing does this all have to get? First, a steroid and HGH fiend. Now, a sex offender preying on teenage girls? I need more time to rant on this then I have tonight. The biggest thing to say about this is that I do not know how this whole thing could get any worse for Roger the Flasher. But, there's always tomorrow.



Now your Zito-Jones update:

BARRY ZITO

I actually started to feel sorry for this beatnik hippie pot guy until I re-freshed my memory of how much salary he is raking in this year ($14.5 million). Barry made us proud this week by getting lit up twice this week. His line for the week: 6 2/3 innings, 13 earned runs, 13 hits, six walks, two losses.

W-L: 0-6 ERA: 7.53 SO: 11 WHIP: 1.95

ANDRUW JONES

Andruw had a better week than Barry, but not by much. He hit .130 with no homers, one RBI, and eight strike outs this past week. To top it all off he fouled a ball off his calf.

AVG.: .159 HR: 1 RBI: 4

Countdown To The End For The Hawks And Your Zito-Jones Update

We are at the time of this writing a half hour away from the start of the Atlanta Hawks shortest play-off run in their history. I have heard all the predictions of a Hawks sweep and frankly I have no argument with anyone who says that Kevin Garnett and Co. will quickly dismantle the young Hawks team. There is also no doubt that the Hawks will fire their coach. Right now, Mike Woodson who has led the team to four straight seasons of increased win totals is getting ready to coach his last four games. He and the GM, Billy Knight, who were once close friends now do not even talk to each other. Woodson could have been fired earlier in the year had it not been averted by the in-fighting between the ownership group, the GM, and Woodson himself. If the Hawks were a more storied franchise they would be compared to the Oakland Raiders in regards to their dysfunction. The fact that the Hawks have just made the play-offs for the first time in ten years and no one knows who actually owns the team or who makes any decisions beyond which strip club to go to after the game makes them comparable to let's say...the Falcons. The Hawks appear to be on the rise. Good young players being balanced by good veteran leadership (Johnson and Bibby). That is where the rise ends. The coach will be gone in about four games. The GM probably will be gone too. Their young players will realize that they can go to strip clubs and make more money anywhere else. The Hawks again will have no money (so they say) to spend on a free agent and this year they will not have two lottery picks. And let me ask this: If you were a high priced free agent would you come to Atlanta? Yes, I know Atlanta has the Gold Club, but still would you even think about coming to join this mess? I have made my point. The ownership will continue to battle in court for control. All in all it is a dumpster fire full of toxic waste. It is very sad though because if the team were willing and able they could nurture this team into a more formidable force in a weak conference in the next few years. Now, Hawks fans like myself will endure the embarrassment of being mauled on national television. I wonder what the ratings will be like for the Hawks games? Well, since they are playing the Celtics the ratings will probably be good. If they were playing the Raptors the games would probably be televised only on Versus. Now for your Zito-Jones update!!

BARRY ZITO

Barry made it six innings against St. Louis, but gave up three earned runs, five hits, and five walks in another loss. Currently, starting pitchers pitch six or fewer innings 66% of the time. So this is par for the course for someone who makes more than the GDP of Poland.

W-L: 0-4 ERA: 4.50 SO: 8

ANDRUW JONES

Andruw hit his first home run of the season in Atlanta of all places. Craig James laid a big fat ball up in the zone for him to hit. Frankly, tee-ball players should be able to get a home run off a pitch that bad. Andruw teased us this week by going on a five game hitting streak until taking the big dog collar today. He still has twice as many strike outs as hits.

AVG.: .169 HR: 1 RBI: 3

Ranting And Another Jones-Zito Update

Well, here is another exciting update on my favorite over-rated players in baseball. I am in the midst of a horrendous writer's block as I can not come up with anything worth writing about that would require me to use up the remaining brain cells that I have left.

As it stands today, my marriage is spirally into the toilet. And no, it has nothing to do with my post from last weekend. It basically comes down to the fact that we just simply do not like each other anymore. Pure and simple. I can't stand the fact that she holds something that I did six years ago against me and will not let it go (and it was something quite small, not like an affair or killing her cat or something, really). She has held it against me for years and has kept the resentment and continues to punish me for it as many times as possible. I, on the other hand, am horrible to live with for any length of time because I just want to live in a nice bubble most days without emotionally connecting with anyone because I just don't have the mental energy to deal with it. It's a fact. I am better off living by myself. If I lived by myself I can conserve mental energy and when I am able I can connect with anyone for short bursts at a time and when the needle runs to empty I can just go home. I like my bubble. No one else that I live with likes the bubble. Well, this is who I am and I am not apologizing for it. I can only be who I am. It also is difficult to connect with someone else who has turned cold, bitter, and frigid. Trust me. I am not doing this again. I will never get married again. It is not worth the headache.

I watched the first fifteen minutes of the Braves game (before all hell broke loose in my house yesterday afternoon). I watched Tom Glavine pitch like fifteen pitches before being taken out of the game due to pulling a muscle. This is what I expect this year for the Braves. Two of the three top pitchers in the rotation are breaking down. Smoltz is a Hall of Famer for sure and so far is pitching well, but he is one throw away from the glue factory and there is a reason why the Mets (who have much more money to spend than the Braves do) did not sign Glavine for this season. The Braves have the bats to score at least four runs on average a game. They just don't have the pitching in the rotation or in the bullpen to hold teams to four or less runs per game. Today's game is an example...a 5-4 loss to Washington who truly is an awful team.

Oprah Obama and Whitewater Hillary are still battling it out for the Dems nomination in the summer. When will this end? When will the mudslinging stop? When will Bill get caught with a Harlem hooker in his office under the desk...on camera? When will Obama's minister go on a rant on homosexuals, gerbils, hair dye products, and ground coffee...on camera? Wake me up when the nomination is locked up so I can rant against John McCain who clearly is someone who can not be trusted and will likely keep us in Iraq until 2055.

I had to pay more in taxes this year. I made more money apparently. 42 cents for every tax dollar goes to the war. It's true. Look it up. For that amount of money what have we gotten out of it? The biggest price will be paid when the troops come home when one in four (at the very least) will have severe psychological disorders to go along with the myriad of physical issues and there will not be the resources made available to provide the services these men and women will need. A true American tragedy and an absolute travesty and embarrassment.

Now the update...

BARRY ZITO

Barry improved his overall ERA this past week by giving up one earned run in six innings against St. Louis this weekend in yet another loss.

W-L: 0-3 ERA: 4.50 SO: 6

ANDRUW JONES

Andruw did us proud this weekend by hanging the collar for the whole weekend at home against San Diego. He went 0 for 9 with four strikeouts. I saw one strikeout last night where he swung two times in a row to a curve ball about five feet wide of the strike zone. He went 1 for 18 for the week.

AVG.: .100 HR: 0 RBI: 1

The Andruw Jones-Barry Zito Watch

Occasionally I will be updating everyone on the status of currently the two most over rated and over paid players in the MLB: Barry Zito, SF Giant pitcher and Andruw Jones, LA Dodgers CF.

ANDRUW JONES:

AVERAGE: .136 HR: 0 RBI: 1


BARRY ZITO:

W-L: 0-2 ERA: 6.30 SO: 4

Enjoy!