I had a rough Monday morning. I woke up from a dream and ended up acting like a stoner for the next ten hours. I was listening to songs I added to my iPod on Sunday and became inspired by the following tunes:
"You Don't Know Love"-The Editors
This is from their new album that was released in total silence two weeks ago. This band is slowly turning into the most melodramatic alternative band in existence. The lead singers deep voice omits more foreboding than Rush Limbaugh on any given day. The Editors have taken some sort of detour with this album by going straight to using 80's synthesizers. I wonder if they use Aqua Net hair spray?
"This Must Be The Place (Live)"-Talking Heads
This was from the 80's. I think it was used in the closing credits to the movie "Wall Street." That movie along with "Less Than Zero" and "The Breakfast Club" are the prototype 80's movies that completely exemplified white teenage and young adult pretentious angst to the 400th degree. Of course with "Less Than Zero" I did not know that Robert Downey Jr. was actually playing himself and doing all the drugs--for real.
"Hearing Damage"-Thom Yorke
This is from the "New Moon" soundtrack. Overall, this soundtrack is so incredibly melodramatic even I could not stand it beyond five minutes. Thom Yorke is a perfect fit for the soundtrack if you could understand what he is singing about. Then I have to remember that the whole Twilight book and now movie series is supposed to be completely dripping with emo melodrama that is meant to attract teenage girls like OJ Simpson to a Vegas hotel with a sawed off shotgun.
The whole book and movie series will forever go down in the official "Emo" Hall of Fame that Dippy the Pirate Bear wants to create.
"Scenes From An Italian Restaurant"-Billy Joel
The verdict on Billy Joel's coolness is always debatable. One day he is cool and uncool and the next it is vice versa. His songs describe pretentious pitfalls of fake love in some New York City borough. However, when you hear the songs it all seems real to him. Then again, I have no idea how his career lasted as long as it did. And the story of this song means nothing to me and I would only listen to it again if I was as drunk as Billy Joel was writing this song.
"Human Touch"-Bruce Springsteen
God, this song is so incredibly awful. However, because he IS Bruce he can get away with it. If Billy Joel wrote this song his career would have ended with him playing Vegas shows three blocks from the Strip. This song was released in the early 90s when music really jumped the shark and went into a black hole bigger than Pete Rose's gambling debt.
"In This Light And On This Evening"-The Editors
Again, the deep voice. The 80's synthesizers. The Editors are well on their way to the Emo Hall of Fame. Those that are already there are Trent Reznor, Morrissey, Kurt Cobain, and Robert Smith of the Cure.
"Paradise City"-Guns N' Roses
I wonder what history will eventually say about Guns N' Roses. Their rise and fall helped bring about the end of what appeared to be decent rock music in the 90's. I often wonder what would have happened if Axl Rose had not pulled a Ted Kaczynski and disappeared off the planet and then came back when the rest of the band was dead....oh, they aren't dead? Oh, ok. My point being had the band managed to stay together what would have eventually happened? My guess is that they would be headlining the same lounge act in Vegas at the same hole that Billy Joel would have been three blocks off the Strip.
The great thing about Guns N' Roses was that their first hits were songs that describes the city of Los Angeles in the late 80's and early 90's perfectly--through the eyes of a white long red-headed wanna-be rock god. The songs show the train wreck that Los Angeles was and can be for the ill prepared, drug addicted, and the desperate: Dirty, manipulative, shocking, dangerous, and
fake. The West Coast rappers gave us a different picture of Los Angeles that was somewhat similar but with a stronger perspective. Then they started a war with the East Coast rappers in Vegas and that was the end of that. I love L.A.
"Malibu"-Hole
Ah, Courtney Love. The widow of Kurt Cobain, Emo Hall of Famer. Whatever happened to her? Is she still alive? Is she still doing heroin in a back alley in Portland? Is she still stalking Madonna? Actually, Hole was not a bad band and Love actually could write some killer songs. The last time I listened to this song was on a portable CD player (how so late 90's) in 1998 flying from Greensboro, NC to Chicago where I was going to appear on the Oprah Winfrey Show (yes, this is a true story). The last lines from the song describe most of my past relationships with various train wreck women: "I can't be near you/The light just radiates." The song means as much to me now as it did in 1998. Dating rule #6: Don't date people who are crazier than you are. Trust me. Courtney Love fell victim to this and see what happened?
"Like A Stone"-Audioslave
"No Sound But The Wind"-The Editors
Some emo song about Bella and Edward that I don't know-Some emo artist that I don't know
All these songs are from the Emo Hall of Fame movie "New Moon" (coming out in November!)
They all are melodramatic. They are all insipid. They are all too catchy and messy. The last song is so way way over the top I wanted to run my car into a rescue squad, bite myself on the arm, put the blood into an IV bag, and then find a nice female vampire and give it to her to drink. Of course, I have probably done this multiple times metaphorically. Thanks Stephenie Meyer!
Oh, I no long want to see the two stars from "New Moon" who are in fake real relationship to correspond with their fake fake movie relationship on anymore magazine covers when I go to the grocery store. The relationship will not last. Why? Because they are stars, they are young, and they are probably insane. Anyways, Robert Pattinson (a possible emo Hall of Famer) will get caught in a Vegas hotel elevator with a hooker with only a lamp shade on his head in about six months.
"Closer"-Nine Inch Nails
This is the Emo Hall of Fame theme during the first induction ceremony where they will honor Robert Smith, Kurt Cobain, Trent Reznor, Morrissey, and Stephenie Meyer.
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