The Lakers Have Two Teams

So the Lakers win another conference title. They somehow won Game 6 in Denver and Kobe was not distracted by some hotel hottie or small animals like hamsters or some such shit. Watching Magic Johnson's bloated head spilling information as useless as my beat up car made me wonder whether or not he ever had HIV at all. It was all some sinister plot anyways to become the Dos Equis guy. All in all I am absolutely convinced that I should be the Dos Equis guy. I'm younger. I'm stronger. I'm more unstable. And more importantly I am hundred times more interesting. However I digress or degress (whatever it doesn't matter does it). The Lakers are two totally different teams. The first team is called Kobe and the Lakers. That team stands around and waits for Kobe to either take over the game or flame out or snort coke off a Laker girls breasts. That team is inconsistent, frustrating and boring. So frustrating that even Jackie Nicholson feels like choking on a baked potato--on purpose. The second Laker team we saw tonight. They have role players who are actively involved, appear interested, and look like they want to actually win. They play to their potential. They become so unstoppable that not even Stan Van Gundy's rambling garbled tangential speeches can stop them. No team can stop the second Laker team for four games in a seven game series. Except when they revert back to the first team. We should send the first Laker team to North Korea to solve the nuclear crisis before it gets out of

hand. Wait a minute. It already is out of hand. The only thing they can do now is to bore them into submission which would not take much. All that is needed is a vampire, a shotgun, and a roll of paper towels.