Your Fox Household Update

In the Fox household there have been some stunning changes that have lead to the major superpowers in the home to renew their treaty of cooperation and security. As the forces of change have whipped through the household, we have come together where one year ago we were many miles apart. A year ago, we were in the midst of an icy cold war that often led to full hostilities that sent everything into a tailspin. The tailspin could have easily led to a nuclear winter that we have never seen previously. However, we had a challenge. A challenge to ourselves, each other, and the family as a whole to keep us together without simply destroying each other and ourselves. The family had developed deep cracks that threatened to swallow us whole in a vacuum. "Russia" (my significant other) began several months ago a period of warmth and understanding that had not been seen for a couple of years. The "United States" (me) got fed up with the sabre rattling, spinning itself into free fall, and posturing that he had been doing in response to the icy response from "Russia" and began a period of openness and communication that had not been seen in years as well. It had gotten ugly for a while and there was a lot of drift and a lot of resentment. Each of us acted out towards one another and to the world at large out of pain, loneliness, and temptations. Just months ago the tanks were ready to roll all over the map. Now, there is peace, harmony, and happiness. There are always threats. There will always be challenges. We have overcome the past challenges. We are at peace now with each other. We are in a renewed period of love, friendship, compassion, empathy, responsibility, and dedication. This renewal led us to take a rather faithful step. The faithful step of putting the past behind us. To forgive each other and ourselves for any damage that we may have caused. To let go of past hurts. To remember what brought us together in the first place. As a result, the treaty has been renewed. It was renewed with the world watching. With the world literally putting their hands on us and putting us back together. The world does not completely know how close the end was. Or how close we were to an irrevocable war that could have led to horrendous losses. Some know the journey that I took in the last year and half where I looked into the canyon, played with fire, dealt head-on with the demons of my past and my present, and walked away from the cliff. The journey that my wife has taken was in many ways a sharp contrast, but in many ways a glaring parallel journey that led her to a new world. She has come full circle. I have not completely come full circle, yet. My journey back has not been completed. I am still struggling with issues from the past. From my past. From my own fears. Again, even yesterday, I was reminded that the circle is not completed. I am not all the way back. My demons have not yet been completely put to rest. This time around I am getting more support. This support was not existent over a year ago. I will complete the circle and reinvent myself again as I have many many times before. The "US"-"Russia" cold war is officially over--in our house. After drifting apart in separate worlds and lives, times have changed. We are back together. Stronger than ever. Now, if Russia and the U.S. in our larger world could ever reach the same place we have then the larger world would be a better place.

The United States Speaks And Russia Doesn't Listen

The invasion of Georgia by Russian troops continues onward as the Georgian military reports that they have pulled out of South Ossetia. The Georgian government, allies of the US, has asked for a cease fire and to start negotiations with the Russians in order to settle the issue peacefully. The Russians have not ceased their military offensive operations as they have continued to utilize air strikes, tactical missile attacks, and naval blockade of the country by the navy. The Russian military operation has gone well beyond rescuing their "peace-keepers" in South Ossetia or protecting their citizens.

In the impotent UN Security Council, the US used the forum to verbally strike out at Russia (a standing member if the Council with veto power). The US accused Russia of wanting to overthrow the government of a popular elected pro-US president (who is as corrupt as any politician that has been in Congress as long as, let's say, John McCain has). The Russian response?

Do you even need to ask?

Denial.

Of course. Did anyone expect any other response? This is the Cold War all over again. The US blames Russia for some indiscretion. The Russians respond by denying, threatening, and blaming everyone else for their indiscretions. On and on like a bad mob movie where each side whacks a capo on the other side for evil deeds like looking at them the wrong way or crossing the road. Russia is familiar with this game, they have played it before. They are experts. And so are we. So what's the point? No one can believe clearly what anyone speaking on behalf of Russia or the US anyways.

Luckily, all of this banter is just words. It is isn't sending naval fleets and nuclear submarines across the globe to play chicken with one another like in the good ole' days. Yet. I do not expect that the US will do anything about this crisis that Russia is embroiled in except launch verbal volleys back and forth like Nadal and Federer at Wimbledon. The Russians, who clearly are doing what the US would have done in the same situation and also what they would love to do to the state of California, will do what they want. They will conduct this invasion on their own terms. They will react like jilted fourteen year old girls when their best friend steals their boyfriend (like he was really all that anyways) by overreacting, becoming histrionic, and vengeful. The wise move for the Russians at this point is to do the opposite of what is expected. They have reportedly driven the Georgian military out of South Ossetia, which was their initial "stated" goal. It is time for them to sit at the table and negotiate a cease fire and subsequently develop a reasonable plan that will allow the people of South Ossetia to rebuild their lives and determine their fate independently.

The Russians also should not listen to the Americans. The Americans feel completely obligated to denounce the Russians action's as being heavy handed and "disproportionate." So, let me ask, how proportionate was it to invade and occupy Iraq when that country had nothing to do with 9/11? For the US to say anything about Russia's maneuvers in Georgia is pure hypocrisy. The US feels that they have to speak out on this issue mainly because everyone wants to know what we think. However, the United States response rings as hollow as Brett Favre's retirement announcement(s). No wonder no one listens to the US anymore...except for a laugh.

Hide The Trigger

The Iranian military launched an elaborate test of long range missiles today that was seen all over the world. An Iranian military talking head (whose name is similar to a lunch meet) stated that "our finger is always on the trigger....we have hundreds even thousands of missiles ready to be fired against predetermined targets." Good times. One of the missiles that was tested can carry a one megaton warhead. The missiles that were tested have a range of over 1,200 miles, which is enough to reach most Middle Eastern US targets and the entire state of Israel. Good times. The Iranians stated that they launched this test in response to Israeli military exercises that resembled test runs on an air strike of Iranian nuclear facilities as well as the US Navy's "secret" test of shooting down Iranian missiles. Good times.

I suspect that the Iranians do not know who exactly they are dealing with. Don't they know that President Asterisk is looking for any reason to launch a military strike on them? President Asterisk has illegally invaded and occupied sovereign countries for far less than shooting long range missiles. I mean he did all this because the country's pot bellied leader wanted to kill his dad. That was back in 1991 when everybody wanted to kill his dad and President Asterisk was still snorting coke off of hookers breasts in a stripper bar somewhere in East Texas. So to run tests of long range missiles that can carry nukes 1,200 or so miles away is similar to knocking off half the family. Then to say things like: "Our finger is always on the trigger" only makes things more fun. Don't they know that President Asterisk also always his finger on the trigger also? He's had the itch for pushing the button as bad as he has the urge to drink mojitos in the Oval Office (of course I suspect that it's much more than just an urge).

The leaders of both Iran and the US have the collective mentality of a nine year old spoiled child with alcoholic parents. They are both a complete mess. They are both egocentric, irrational, lack judgment, lack insight, have poor anger controls, impulsive, and hopelessly intellectually challenged. They listen to no one in their inner circle. They do not tolerate anyone who tells them "no" or tells them to do something different than what they have planned. Their approval ratings in their home countries is lower than 35% (though I suspect the Iranian approval rating is completely anecdotal because anyone saying anything negative about the government is probably shot on sight). They are practically brothers. Brothers in arms.

So as Iran rattles sabres and tells everyone that "their finger is always on the trigger" and the US runs non-secret secret test runs of missile defense tactics we in the rational world are left wondering if these two "world leaders" have had a nap recently or somehow got into dad's stash of porn and seven year old beer. The world is a far less safer place to live with these two snipping at each others toes. There is a reason why we do not let nine year old boys drive cars, drink booze, vote, go to strip clubs, and go to war. That's because when you let nine year olds run nuclear states they don't know how to conduct themselves. They become dangerous, concrete, and myopic. This is a nasty combination. I am hoping that cooler heads within the governments of Iran and the US will keep their prospective leaders distracted with pretty objects, girls in bikinis, dancing pirate bears, or tear gas (it's so easy to distract nine year old boys) so that somebody trusted can hide the trigger long enough for someone else to be in charge. At least in the US that will be in another six months...

...unless John McCain is in charge, which will be like having a temperamental egocentric fourteen year old with a fetish for botox and sleeping pills running a nuclear state.

Good times.

Everyones Favorite Family Cold War Update

I am still in the midst of a Mountain Dew hang over from last night's celebration of the Hawks keeping their season alive and giving Mike Woodson one more game to coach before his bosses ax him for leading the team to the play-offs. They did it last fall to the Thrashers coach after he led them to their first ever play-off appearance. At least in that case Bob Hartley was actually on speaking terms with the GM. With Coach Baldy it's a different matter.

However, enough about the Hawks.

People have asked for another Family Cold War (that turned hot) update for this week. As it stands today, we in the Fox4NX household are only at about a DefCon 3. That level was reduced from 2 (1 is full-out war) today. It is a fragile peace. Earlier in the week, the superpowers in the home realized (what a shock!) that their world had some significant environmental issues. Russia (my ex) continued to lay out vast amounts of propaganda in order to prove her point that the U.S. (me) was unresponsive, uncaring, emotionally bankrupt, and had stolen all the toilet paper. Again, as with most of Russia's propaganda it took the form of old baggage from several days and weeks ago that she decided that now was the time to unleash it on an unsuspecting world. The U.S. admits that, at times, he is emotionally bankrupt and unresponsive. It is the same song and dance (the waltz at quarter speed) that has been going on since the Treaty of Virginia was enacted in 2002. It was this treaty that led to the current uneasy alliance. However, neither side in each other's opinions has lived up to all the points in that treaty. Thus, the two superpowers are where they are now. In a cyclical blame game of unmet wishes and mandates. The other side wishes not to live up to their end of the deal as long as the other does not in return live up to theirs. So, all the tanks and missiles are lined up across the borders. The current peace of today is as uneasy and fragile as Jennifer Aniston and TomKat.

North Korea (played extremely well by our 12 year old daughter) has ratcheted down it's propaganda in return for favors. After attacking nearly everyone over the previous weekend, Kim Jong Il has decided for the time being that it is not worth it to piss everyone else off. The U.S. denied several requests by North Korea to lift sanctions citing that Kim Jong was only being nice now in order to get what (s)he wanted. So far, very few sanctions have been lifted against North Korea and it is only a matter of time where there will be a RPG battle with Russia over PopTarts and Fanta. The U.S. has decided that in an effort to avoid another full out nuclear attack that he will stay out of any battle involving Russia and North Korea. The U.S. further states that if the czarina of Russia requests aid during a battle over anything involving more than food rations and soda trafficking that it will provide assistance.

FAMILY DEFCON LEVEL: 3 (medium salsa)