Only Tom Brady

Only Tom Brady could lure me out of my hiatus. However, I sent a warning several months ago. I stated to Tom and the world that as long as he stayed down that I would not go after him this season. All Tom had to do was stay down. Stay out of the spotlight. Stay out of camera shot. Nurse your knees and have your supermodel girl-friend nurse everything else. Just stay away from the public eye. Let the Patriots be mad at you for using your family vet to operate on your knee. Let your girlfriend run out and get the wrong condoms. Have Caoch Hoodie hand over the reigns of the Evil Empire to another quarterback. Just don't come out into the light. Be a vampire like Bill from TrueBlood and stay out of the daylight.

So as I am sitting in Lexington, Virginia on Thanksgiving I pop open SportsCenter I see Tom wearing a stupid green hat feeding people at a shelter somewhere. He had his usual shit eating grin with reporters up in his grill asking him how his knee is or how his knees could take the pounding in the S&M chamber that his girl-friend makes him visit each day. His dominatrix girlfriend was also there just kicking herself for having to spend any time with anyone who might be a consumer of a Goodwill training center in Roxbury, MA. Since the media piranhas decided to descend on the happy couple serving pumpkin pie, Tom felt compelled to smile, giggle, dodge questions, and act like the NFL's version of Zoolander. Trust me it gave me the holiday spirit. I mean it was as touching as watching one of the movies on the Lifetime Movie Channel. You know about those movies. Made for $50,000 featuring a woman who has amnesia, a false identity, and a former lover that tried to run her over with a Jeep Cherokee who eventually goes insane and kills about ten people just like the BTK killer. So touching that I want to eat more turkey and five day old doughnuts.

So now, Tom, I am letting you know since you failed to completely meet your end of our deal by going out into the light (I don't care if it was charity work...you could have done it outside of the cameras and the public eye) when you should have stood down that the deal is off. I am going after you, the Evil Empire, and the Hoodie. It's over. You break a deal with me you break a deal with the devil. And the devil always gets pay back. Thank you for helping me to get out of my personal life for enough time to come right after you.

A Disclaimer

This is a disclaimer regarding advertising on this blog. I am sure that everyone has noticed that there are often ads pertaining to gambling, Boston Celtics gear, anti-Obamaism, and anti-democratic partism. These ads are more than likely a complete contradiction to what I have actually written in the blog.

For the record:
1. I am not a fan of the Boston Celtics. I am not a fan of the New England Patriots. However, since I mention them so many times in this forum there inevitably will be ads trying to get readers to buy their gear. I personally wish that the Patriots would be kicked out of the NFL and forced to play in the CFL. I wish for Coach Hoodie to eventually be nailed in some sort of porn ring and spend fifty years in prison for a RICO violation.

2. Though I joke constantly about gambling, I only gamble with my life. No, just kidding, I do not advocate gambling excessively with money. I do not gamble with money. If I did I would be dead. Why? Because either a gangster bookie or my significant other would kill me. It would be a race as to who would get to me first. I bet on my significant other every time.

3. Throughout the last year I have referred to our President-Elect as Oprah Obama. I gave him that name because she hand picked him to be her candidate just like she picked chick books, the horrific Dr. Phil, and her man-friend who really isn't her man-friend. The power of Oprah is smeared all over the election. However, I do not feel that Obama bought the election. I think that Oprah did. In the end, I was in complete support of Obama once he got the nomination because when compared to McCain he was the better choice. McCain was not to be trusted because he has been in politics for too long and his policies were a mirror image of President Asterisk. He also picked Sarah Palin as a running mate which appealed to people who watched way too much TV, smoked a million unfiltered cigarettes a day, and drank too much regular Coke.

4. I am not a Democrat. I am not a Republican. I am not a jaded Communist. I am not in favor of selling off California to the Mexican cocaine cartels. I am not in favor of giving the state of Minnesota to Canada in exchange for a six pack of beer.
I am politically an independent. I am an equal opportunity basher of politicians and their parties. If you are an absolute moron I do not care who you represent or what your party affiliation I will bash you. I have bashed every President since Jimmy Carter in one shape or form. If a politician does something absurd, stupid, idiotic, or illegal then I will jump all over them. I do not prescribe to a political party. I will go for the candidate that I think is the best choice based on my values. End of story.

I can not wait for the day that the advertising on my blog actually matches my positive view of certain things. I do not choose the advertising on my blog. The wonderful folks at Google using some sort of magic formula of doom do so in a back room somewhere. Of course, does any one really want me to choose the advertising on this blog? I mean, really, do you?