Your Family Cold War Update

This afternoon I figured that I would you provide an update on the Family Cold War. This weekend Kim Jong Il (our twelve year old daughter) launched a pre-emptive "nuclear strike" against the United States (me), Russia (her mother) and China (another family member). This missile strike came with little warning but was not entirely a major surprise either. The first nuclear exchange was between North Korea (Kim Jong Il) and Russia. North Korea launched an ill-advised and haphazard strike (Kim Jong Il's current claim to fame) which led Russia to launch a "missile and tank" barrage in return for being betrayed by an ally. North Korea then launched another all-out strike against a then neutral U.S. whom had sworn themselves to stay out of the fight unless provoked. The U.S coming to Russia's aid then launched another "assault" on North Korea's defenses. In what had to be Kim Jong's finest hour another strike was immediately launched at another ally in China and then in true Jong Il grace demanded to be rescued by China. This led China and Russia to negotiate the possible truce with North Korea while the U.S. and North Korea dueled with air strikes until cooler heads provailed and a "cease fire" was established. Right now, U.S. forces are on DefCon 2 waiting for the next battle despite the fact that it's pigeon holed President is actively debating whether or not any of thi sis worth all the bloodshed. On a positive note, the U.S. and Russia have been talking about their mutual national security interests and have forged a very fragile alliance in defense from North Korea. However, the tanks are all on stand-by and a mild nuclear winter has fallen. Good times have been had by all. We are all waiting for the UN peace keepers so we can all pick them off one by one. At least the family will all be "fighting" against someone else besides each other.

The Cold War At Home And The Hawks Date With Destiny

I noticed that when I checked this blog today that I have reached the 700 visit mark. That has given me motivation to move forward and try to write something of consequence. I have had horrible writer's block and have been under crazy levels of stress which has led me to want to write about anything...mainly because it would cause me to use up too much mental energy. I noticed on my map that I have a visitor from both Germany and Hawaii now. I appreciate the the fact that my words truly are spread all over the globe. Then I wonder if because of this reason whether or not I should be more careful about what I write about. This is something to ponder, but then we have web-sites like YouPorn (the evil twin of YouTube) and it all makes sense that nobody else out there seems to care what they put up on a blog. So why should I?

People have asked me about my family life in the last week since my last blog. We are now in a Cold War in the house. The Wall has been built and ever now and then we shoot at each other from the protection of being behind the wall. A kind of twisted detente has been created over the weekend as the nuclear powers (my ex and I) are at least talking without wanting to launch a nuclear strike. Our pesky superpower wanna-be (our child) is "vacationing" elsewhere. I am now becoming convinced that her main goal right now is rile up the superpowers in the home enough so that they want to blow themselves up. Am I crazy to think this? The superpowers in the home have a lot of things that need to be discussed and resolved before we can take down our Wall and stop pointing missiles at one another. There has been a lot of misunderstandings that have led us to reach a point where a "hot" war is an option (and not the hot war that would lead to make-up "anything", by the way). We are both still simmering angry at one another and the likelihood of some sort of spark that leads to a tank invasion is very possible.

If the above isn't cause enough to create mass stress levels that border on heart attack potential then there is the work situation, which for my protection and the protection of the innocent I am not even going to even get into it. Let's just say that the atmosphere at work is similar in many ways to what I am breathing in at home. Enough said.

The Atlanta Hawks have entered the NBA play-offs for the first time in nearly 900 years. Their reward? Well, let's just say they are the 16-seed going up against the 1-seed. Tonight in their first nationally televised game since Hubie Brown was coaching the team they play the Boston Celtics in Boston. The Celtics since the addition of Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett have been on a mission to get Red's first posthumous NBA title. They have feasted on a weak Eastern Conference and are odds on favorites to go to the finals. I also believe that there is going to be made every effort possible to make sure they do get to the Finals so they can play the Lakers. Believe me when I say this: The NBA needs the Celtics and Lakers in the Finals and the referees will get the message. Watch the Celtics when they play the Pistons or the Cavs and how many no-calls they will get in their favor and how many times Rasheed Wallace gets hit with technical fouls. It will happen. So do I give the Hawks any chance? Frankly and sadly I have to say: NO. The Celtics are favored tonight by fifteen points. I am taking the favorite in this one. The big question in Atlanta is whether or not the Hawks will steal a game from Boston. I would say that the real question should be how many people will show-up to Phillips Arena in Atlanta for Game 3. Atlanta sports fans by their nature do not show up for events that they feel their team has very little chance at winning. As a whole, the Hawks have been ignored in Atlanta and their run to the play-offs has generated very little buzz. The over-under for attendance in Atlanta for Game 3 (in my opinion) is 11,000. It is my belief that if the Hawks do not get at least 13,000 in the building then they should be the ones to move to Oklahoma City and let Seattle stay where they are. At least Seattle fans want their team to stay. Atlanta fans would rather go to strip clubs to meet people like Pacman Jones and Ron Mexico (aka Vick).

A few weeks back I proposed that Major League Baseball should change their format for standings and play-offs to something like the English Premier League (English soccer to those who do not know). They did not take my suggestion...yet. Anyways, here are the standings (as of the start of play on Sunday) for MLB under the new format.

These teams are on-top of the league and in the running for the Champions League:

Arizona 13 wins +56 run differential (RD)

St. Louis 12 wins +25 RD

Los Angeles Angels 12 wins +12 RD

Boston 12 wins +6 RD

Chicago Cubs 11 wins +18 RD

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Milwaukee 11 wins +14 RD

These bottom five are facing relegation:

Texas 7 wins -17 RD

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Pittsburgh 7 wins -29 RD

San Francisco 7 wins -39 RD

Houston 6 wins -17 RD

Detroit 6 wins -38 RD

Washington 5 wins -28 RD

The teams that could move up from Triple AAA?

Salt Lake City, Oklahoma City, Scranton, Indianapolis, Louisville, and Richmond (Va.).

Your Jones-Zito update will come out later today or tomorrow. Just a hint. Jones is threatening the .200 mark.